I Don't Think These Pictures Are Really Even Worth a Hundred Words
LMNOParenting

The Decade I Hate the Most

Banner_copy

Here's a show idea VH1 somehow missed.  Don't ask me how that happened; maybe Michael Ian Black, Mo Rocca, and the other commentators simply drew the line at associating themselves with this useless decade.  I can't blame them, because, as this hate-rospective explains, I too hate the '50s.  I hate:

Oldies music.
Oldies Goddddd, do I ever I hate oldies music.  I have hated it since I was very young, and was tempted to start a letter-writing campaign to get Oldies music taken off the air, but I didn't, for one reason: I wanted the Oldies stations to be around when I was old myself so I could listen to cool music from the '80s and '90s.  It was my assumption that Oldies music would grow along with the population, and with each decade that passed we would transition the music on our Oldies stations forward a decade.  Well, this doesn't seem to be happening, and all available evidence points to the fact that "Oldies music" really means "'50s music" and, unfortunately, that's not going to change.

Diners.
Diners are horrible.  I hate them.   One obvious reason is that they are always playing Oldies music, but I assure you there is much more to it.  The food at diners is disgusting, and the waiters' uniforms are always extremely unflattering because, in a bid for '50s authenticity, they are usually made from stiff and nasty fabric.  Furthermore, diners are closely linked to old-car enthusiasts, which are truly an abhorrent segment of the population.  Cars in the '50s looked like crap.  Additionally, such reprehensible details as jukeboxes, boomerang-print countertops, shiny vinyl seat covering, and outdated terminology like 'malts' are all promoted by diners.  Any enjoyment I could potentially be getting from my pancakes (and there was already a slim chance of that) is completely ruined by the sorrow I feel for anyone who has ever had to eat in a diner, or, God forbid, work in one.

The Old Concept of the Future

Googie

I mean, every generation has their own lame and wrong and impossibly naive idea of what the future's going to be like, but no era has so furiously attempted to immortalize their dumb idea since the '50s did with their ugly design phase.  So stupid.  I never knew there was actually a name for the type of '50s design that I hate so much, though, until today when I was "researching" this post ( i.e. taking the first Google result for each of my half-assed searches as the absolute, Gospel truth.)  Apparently this type of shit is called Googie architecture:

"Googie has also been known as Populuxe, Doo-Wop, Coffee Shop Modern, Jet Age, Space Age and Chinese Modern. In some cases it has been grouped with its cousin, Tiki         architecture. It is also sometimes identified as part of a larger overall movement of space-age industrial design. Googie often seems like a joint design by the Jetsons and the Flintstones."
(Taken from the site linked above.)

Yeah.  That stuff is crap.

Retro Appliances
Uglytv This is closely linked with the Googie hatred mentioned above, but the two are not synonymous. Although part of the reason I hate refrigerators, TVs, phones, microwaves, and other appliances and equipment from the '50s is their annoying, pathetically wannabe-futuristic look, I have a larger issue with their hideousness and clunkiness in general.  The combination of the outrageously ugly '50s aesthetic, along with the inherent ungainliness of anything that is one of the first models of a particular invention, results in the eyesore to end all eyesores.  I find it hard to believe that anyone could have ever thought an avocado-colored refrigerator was cool, but then again, this was not a normal decade.

Black and White
Lassie Lord.  I cannot stand watching things in black and white.  Although I do appreciate black and white photography, I am absolutely incapable of watching a movie or TV show that is not in color.  NOT INTERESTING.  It might be different if the shows weren't intolerably dull and cloying and bland to begin with, but we will never know, because the televised offerings of the 1950s are limited mainly to the stale-ass crap that is Lassie and Mr. Ed.  Unacceptable.

Well, that's the majority of what really irritates me about the '50s.  There are defintely more topics--like Elvis and the Cold War--that I believe also merit our unadulterated vitriol, but we'll have to save those for another day.

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Matt Brown

Lauren, the Post just had this article up a week ago:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/04/03/AR2006040301979.html

Title:
"Oldies a Thing Of the Past At WBIG-FM--
'70s and '80s Classic Rock Replaces Early Top 40"

You can definitely look forward to being in your twilight years and hearing dance pop and alt rock.

Gregory

I ate at a diner last night...I had a coupon...

Elizabeth

Um...wow. I loved your blog until I read this.

Lauren

Elizabeth, I'm intrigued. What's your personal take on the '50s? I'm not even being sarcastic, I really want to know--being someone who can obviously get pretty worked up about decades myself, I'm curious to hear what caused you to take offense at this.

Random

lmao ive always found it difficult to find anyone that sees the 50's the way i do. I completely agree with ur negative views of the 50's. Everything back then was so weird and creepy. Augh reminds me of that pleasentville movie. The whole space age/retro look thing gives me the creeps.

beric

i too hate the fifties. but, for none of your reasons. Oldies are great, as are diners and black & white photos/television. Actually, now that I think about it, martini hour, every day, sweet! The fifties were great! Women belong in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant, right!?

jomama

Okay, i have to admit that eveything you said was almost entirely true about the 50s. but i mean what can you possibly hold against Lassie?? i LOVE Lassie! it's like the greatest thing since the hair bands of the 80s!!!!! you don't know what you are talking about!i mean you said yourself that you wouldn't even watch it or give it a chance just because the color is in black and white! but so what! they did the best they could for there time and it has been remembered since the 50s.so guess what?? they must have done something right, or decades later it still wouldn't be famous. and a word from the wise unless you've watched and payed attention to something don't say you hate it because your judgeing a book by its cover (or a movie by its color) before even knowing anything about it!

jade E

i hate you. 50's culture is awesome.

Gaby

Too good it took me two years to find this stinking blog. As soon as I click the back button I'll forget about it FOREVER. Great.

Bigtony

Somehow I stumbled onto this blog...I can't remember now...however, this post on the 50's is hilariously ironic!

I won't personally attack your writing about all the things that are AWESOME about the 50's...including, yes, the architecture...

But, realize that while you say you hate all things 50's, you are directly creating items influenced by that time period and generation.

Your decoupaged "products" are in fact ripped from the 50's. The color palette, the patterns...yes, all from this golden era of design influence.

You, at 24, probably do not see it...and most likely do not care...which is ok I guess since The Hills has influenced many, many would be "young designers". Right? I know...totally! Right? Totally!

*cue emo ballad*

The music, the design, the architecture, the film, are all a part of today. My main rant here...is respect. Respect for the things that came before you for they have surely influenced what is now in front of you.

Besides, hating black and white films is just un-American. Not interesting? I guess you watching movies for the bright, shiny colors and moving objects?

lauren

i have no problem respecting anything pre-1950 or post-1959. therefore i do not think it is entirely unreasonable of me to grant myself the small indulgence of hating a mere 10 years out of centuries of history.

MClip

50s were awesome everything about the music and the style is awesome! Don't HATE!

DC

yeah i'm with you. i hate the 1950s, more because it's the embodiment of the little things that piss me off in this country. Brainwashed automatons, Dick and Jane, "get those Pinkos!," June Cleaver housewife, suburbia gone wild, etc. All that garbage rolled into one horrific decade.

I feel bad that my mom and dad were born in that era. Thank god they only lived five years in it.

ZJ

same no problem with anything pre 1950s or post 1959 but 1950-1959 sucked please watch the attrocity that is pleasentville if you dont understand despite its horridness it accurately depicts just how awful the 50s were.

gerry

You are so rude!! I hate you!

aaron

i love music and culture. i hate you so much

aaron

sorry about my first commit, it is wrong. really said i love 50s misic and culture i hate you. P.s. i HATE MODERN MUSIC ALL TO MUCH

aaron

Chuck Berry will teach you a lesson.

Daisy

Thank you very much for your article. I can recommend you rapidshare search engine ( http://www.filecatch.com/trends/dk/31-09-2010.html ), which personally I use for quite a long time.

candy wuthers

ur amazing...its like u went into my brain and wrote everything i hated about the 50's...i am truly amazed...*tears* it couldn't have been better written.

your enemy

miserable cunt

trish

wow. two words ! ungrateful and disrespectful ! shame on you !

Raif

This is a really polarizing entry.

Nick

Yes! I hate the Oldies. Give me 80's metal and traditional celtic folk music, I can't stand listening to this 50's crap.

Bob Beechin

Just how stupid is the author? I go to a diner because i want unpretentious, inexpensive american food. Some are better than others, but to lump them all together is folly. Also, ther's nothing "out-dated" about a malt, they're tasty and always will be. AS for saying "car's in the 50's looked like crap", WTF? YOu're going to argue that some of the best loved cars designs of all time (the porsche 356, the maserati birdcage, the early ferraris, the jaguar xk, the '57 chevy, the cab forward mopars, and countless other world famous, beloved pieces of automotive art aren't up to your high standards? Get bent. You are a very bitter, tasteless person and i pity the mediocre life you have resigned yourself to.

Buttermello

People like you should be wiped off the planet. If it weren't for the 50's you wouldn't have your beloved 80's/90's music. Music is an evolutionary thing, 80's/90's music didn't just appear out of nowhere. You wouldn't have your big screen color TV if black and white TV's hadn't been invented. Your ignorance is incredible. Judgement without knowledge is the definition of stupidity.

Chris

I don't think you hate the 50's so much as the 50's culture being cannibalized and shoved down your throat. I actually like a lot about the 50's but some aspects I find, not quite horrifying, not quite creepy, but some uncomfortable feeling in between. I imagine people in the 50's felt the same way (hehehehe). I bet they didn't all feel pat, safe and secure as they are portrayed on TV. Perhaps that's why there was the 60's- the people in the 50's reacting to the underlying uneasiness they couldn't put a finger on. I mean, consider shows like the Twilight Zone. They illustrate what I describe- seemingly perfect people suddenly finding their world turned inside out. Perhaps everyone feared everything falling apart in the 50's.

As for the music, I think it's like any art. After you hear it a thousand times and it's been done better/faster, it looses it's impact. When I hear about how legendary Nirvana is I feel the same way, even though I saw them in their hayday and was gaga about them way at the time. Again, bring on the 60's as a reaction.

You can bet when 50's music came out that generation thought they invented sex when they heard it just as this generation probably thinks their music is REALLY inventing sex. Every young generation is like that. They tend to think they've finally figured out what their parents couldn't- of course they're always jumping from their parents' shoulders when they make this discovery.

I have days where I hate the 50's, like today, but if anything can be said it did have it's own unique style. For what it's worth.

I imagine we'll be making fun of Apple and related Apple culture twenty years from now and then there will be 'Apple revival' parties with Feist and the Fratelli's playing in the background. I'll be the guy in the all black outfit, unless they come up with something even blacker by then.

The comments to this entry are closed.