One of the pleasures of my day is looking at "Star Tracks," a daily feature on the People website that shows photos (and lame accompanying captions) of what celebrities have been doing out and about in the past 24 hours. It's always a joy to click through, but today was especially interesting because I noticed that the celebs picked seemed to be wearing even more bizarre outfits than usual. It all started with Brooke Shields in this outfit:
The People caption:
Oops! Brooke Shields heads back to a Brentwood, Calif., restaurant on Sunday – apparently to pick up the shoes she left behind.
Well, I thought it was a little remiss of the People copywriters to ignore the fact that Brooke is dressed like a caveman, so I went ahead and corrected that for them and added a new caption to boot:
Oops! Brooke Shields heads back to the Triassic Period on Sunday--apparently in search of the last time her outfit was acceptable.
(Spare me the e-mails about how this was actually, like, the Cenozoic period, and how humans and dinosaurs never coexisted, because I don't care.)
Anyway, I went ahead and gave a few more inappropriately-dressed People celebs the LMNOPeople treatment.
People: Mary-Kate Olsen, who celebrated her 20th birthday last week with twin Ashley, makes a solo coffee run in Brentwood, Calif., on Monday.
LMNOPeople: Mary-Kate Olsen, holding a parcel of tarot cards and tambourine wax, treks behind her gypsy caravan.
People: Renée Zellweger and a friend stay hydrated during a warm Saturday morning stroll through New York City's West Village.
LMNOPeople: Renee Zellweger and some equally awkward and stringy-haired friends take a break to look through their prize bags before performing in the seventh-grade band concert Saturday morning.
People: The O.C.'s on- and offscreen couple Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson make it a date, southern style, at Hollywood restaurant Memphis recently.
LMNOPeople: The O.C.'s on- and offscreen couple Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson make it a date, western style, at the 1800s saloon where he bartends and she sluts around the piano.
People: Tom Cruise makes a high-seas entrance at the premiere of Mission: Impossible 3 in Tokyo on Tuesday.
LMNOPeople: Tom Cruise takes a recreational boat out for a doctor-supervised spin at the Los Angeles Mental Hospital Tuesday.