And Then I Said, "You're Funny. Can I Blog That?"

"Well I'm not so excited about the iPhone itself, because it's like $500, which I can't afford."

"But it's everything in one."

"Yeah, but still.  I'm more excited about if they come up with a whole line of iPhones at different prices, like they did for the  iPod.  Then I would just by the Shuffle version of it."

"How would that phone work?  Like, you can make calls on it, but it randomly decides who you're calling?"

* * *

Since we're on the subject, I don't see what the big deal is about the iPhone.  It still doesn't meet the three main requirements I have for The Perfect Cell Phone:

1. Diet Coke Resistance. This is key.  My ideal phone would need to be capable of withstanding up to five seconds of submersion in Diet Coke at a depth of at least 32 ounces.  Death by Diet Cokezation was the tragedy that killed my last phone, and I want to protect myself from ever suffering such a horrible experience again.
2. Personalized Word Prediction. I'm tired of having to teach my phone to say things like "wuv woo," "laterz," "whatevz," and "chex mix this" (that last one being the horrendously bastardized way that Kelly and I have occasionally been known to say "check this out").*
3. Smart, Automatic Ring-Volume Adjustment. Cell phones are small, and when you lose them the only way you can easily find them is by calling your number and listening intently for the faint sound ring of its ring to come out from beneath your pillow or in your microwave or wherever you absentmindedly left it.  That's why it's so demoralizing when you realize that your phone was set to silent (or a low volume) when you last saw it.  My ideal cell phone will know when it is lost and automatically adjust its ringer volume to an appropriately high setting so that when I call it I will be able to hear it from anywhere in the house, no matter what it is in or under or behind.

*You know how at first you start saying things like OMG, obvi, laterz, kewl, wuv woo, etc. to be ironic, but then one day something in your brain switches and suddenly you're saying it because you want to--have to--and there's no going back?  Kelly and I are huge victims of that.

Comments

[KELLYq]

whatevz, beez