I often lament the fact that my one true talent--sleeping--can't earn
me any money. Sleeping is probably the one thing I legitimately do
better than about 98% of the population, which is unfair because if I
were that good at art or singing or something I could try and make a
living off of it.
Well, I still haven't found a way to get rich from taking
naps, but I'm pleased to report that as of this month my sleeping
ability is at least saving me money. That's an important step.
See, I just moved into a lovely rental home with my new roommate, and while it's not new or huge or worthy of being on Cribs,
it does have three bedrooms, new kitchen appliances, a washer and
dryer, patio and fenced-in backyard for just the two of us (and
Pancake)--all for less rent than we were each paying for the
two-bedroom apartments we previously inhabited. So what's the catch?
Well, we're about 50 feet from the railroad tracks. Just past our back
fence and through a few trees are the two different rail lines--Metro
and regular--so it's pretty much a guarantee at any hour of the day
that at least a few trains are going to be passing by.
For many people, like light sleepers or those with small
children, this would be a deal breaker. However, to me, it is pretty
much the best deal ever; it's like saying, "Here, let us give you a
huge discount on your rent because the pipes in the walls are
mismatching colors." Sure, sounds good, but I never would have noticed
I moved in a week ago and the train has not woken me up once,
and I barely notice it when I am awake unless the windows are open and
I'm trying to hear something that's at a low volume. Even better, I've
noticed that the train actually has some benefits. It's a great
barking deterrent for Pancake; if I'm not in the room and he starts
whining and barking I know it will stop as soon as the first train
passes by and distracts him.
So yes, it is time to celebrate. While my ability to sleep has wreaked havoc in the past and caused me to miss classes, ignore fire alarms and be too out cold to notice I am sleeping in a weird position that will produce unusual pain, it has finally begun to benefit me in a measurable way. Next thing you know I will be sleeping as a full-time job.