Wherein I Spread Rumors of a Ms. Frizzle Biopic

Because I was at sea all last week, I am finding it impossible to get caught up on all the pop culture news I missed.  By my estimates, it would take me about 14 hours of research to obtain, at a satisfactory level of detail, the important information I missed while away.  And people, even I do not have 14 hours of free time in my day.

I decided the best thing to do would be to flip through a week's worth of "Star Tracks" photo galleries on People.com, but without actually stopping to read the captions.  Instead, I have pulled a handful of the photos and captioned them myself, giving my best guess as to what is going on in each photo.  Here's what I appear to have missed.

First up in celebrity news: Katie Holmes aged 10 years for every day I was away.

Meanwhile, after curing cancer, Kim Kardashian took a celebratory trip down a waterslide before returning to her laboratory to solve global hunger.

Elsewhere in Hollywood, Evan Rachel Wood began filming a Ms. Frizzle biopic.

Later, Kate Hudson morphed into Jennifer Lopez and then immediately started trying to punch her way out.

All the while, the Real Housewives of New Jersey continued to exist, thus allowing the sun to keep shining and the world to keep spinning.  (Thank you, ladies.  That shining sun really made the Bahamas excellent for me.)

In other news, something apparently happened to make it OK to wear his-and-hers Ugg boots.

And Mariah Carey continued to be a completely normal human.

Finally, Beyonce misread an invitation to perform at the Sydney Opera House and instead thought she was supposed to perform in a dress that resembled the Sydney Opera House.

I don't know about you, but I feel pretty caught up.  If you can think of anything I missed, please leave me the scoop via comment.

Comments

[Caitlar]

LAUREN MICHAEL JACKSON DIED DID YOU KNOW THAT?????

[m2marathon]

Michael Jackson also put on a fabulous performance in L.A. Can't forget that one.

[EmGusk]

omg i would pee my pants for a ms. frizzle biopic.

MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!!!!