Basically, People Magazine's Pet Website Needs an Ombudsman

I believe I have mentioned here before that I think People Pets is the most ridiculous site on the entire Internet.  The site is notable because, even in a category that is already ridiculous--dog and cat news--it is extra inane.  Take today, for example; amid such major stories as "Larry the 70-Year-Old Lobster Will Not Be Eaten" and "Pious Pooch Attends Church Twice a Week," the site boldly featured a slide show entitled, "Pets That Look Like Vanna White!"

Now, it might just be me, but I think that if you are going to feature something as absurd as a gallery of pets looking like Vanna White, you should really deliver on the premise.  Sadly, the slide show in question does not.  Let's take a closer look at why.

These are the two photos that start off the slideshow.  You'll note that the resemblance here is not uncanny, but it's not terrible.  I would think that if Vanna White were a dog, she would be a smiley retriever-type like this.  So there is, at the very least, enough integrity in the first comparison that you go into the second slide with your hopes up.  But then . . . 

. . . You see this.  A picture of Vanna White holding an umbrella next to a picture of a black cat THAT LOOKS NOTHING WHATSOEVER LIKE VANNA WHITE, also under an umbrella.  Evidently the fact that the two images share the presence of an umbrella is supposed to be enough to sustain the theme of the slideshow, but come ON--the umbrellas don't even look like each other.  We are at the second photo, and already this slide show is phoning it in in a major way.

It gets worse with the third slide, and this crocheting cat.  People Pet's editors clearly had to go back 20 years to find a picture of Vanna to include in comparison, and she's not even crocheting--she's knitting.  At this point, the credibility of the slide show has already eroded beyond repair.

This slide is clearly the best since No. 1, due to such factors as the angle of the photograph, inclusion of sunglasses, and the slightly similar bangs Vanna and the dog seem to be rocking.  It constitutes the second valid inclusion in the entire slideshow, though it is in no way enough to redeem it.

Another photo, another complete erosion of the premise of the slide show.  Notice the caption: "'One-year-old Puppy flips on his back and sticks his paws up like a little bunny,' shares mom Judith Ohanian of Sunrise, Fla."  Which means that even Judith of Sunrise, Fla., who is stupid enough to send a photo of her dog into People Pets, is not stupid enough to compare said dog with Vanna White.  A bunny, yes; Vanna, no.  EVEN THOUGH THEY BOTH, AT ONE TIME IN THEIR LIVES, POINTED TOWARDS A CAMERA.

This is the photo I am presuming sparked the idea for this entire godawful photo gallery.  Somewhere in a stack of photo submissions, someone saw this dog pointing at a TV playing Wheel of Fortune and thought, "Well, we have a million photos of dogs and cats.  There are also probably a million photos of Vanna White out there, because she's been on TV for the past 20 years. Clearly, according to the 'Enough Monkeys and Enough Typewriters' Rule, there has got to be enough material out there to cobble together a slideshow comparing them." 

Guess what?

That was an incorrect assumption.

In conclusion, People Pets' slideshow of pets that look like Vanna White contains two pets that kind of look like Vanna White, one pet that is kind of acting like Vanna White, and FOUR pets that fail to demonstrate anything more than the weakest notional resemblance to being like Vanna White, or in the same room as something she was once also in the same room as.  This, to me, does not constitute grounds for a slide show; rather, it indicates the need for much greater accountability at the highest levels of the People Pets editorial structure.

Comments

[Jerome]

Lauren--A lot of times, when reading stuff on the Internet, I think something is funny, or maybe even hilariously funny, but to the outside observer I'll just be smiling or, at best, they'll hear me chuckle once.

That being said--I have been hysterically laughing at this point from the moment I saw the umbrella pic. I can't stop. Thank God I work from home.

Anyway, well done.

[Lauren]

Glad you liked it.  I enjoyed this one--think I am going to start holding People Pets accountable on a semi-regular basis.  It needs to be done.

[grossesse]

This all photos are stylist and amazing photos! im super stoked that you are going into the photography realm! this is so exciting! i love that you're pursuing a career in photography....

[m2marathon]

Yes, I, too love that you are pursuing a career in photography.

That being said, I am still LOFL. I look forward to a post on the history and deconstruction of the ridiculous term Ombudsman. I have longed for that for ever such a long time. ;-)

[Deliverusual]

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