19 posts from January 2010
Crocs + Ke$ha = funny.
Screech's tell-all book is out; here are the 11 most scandalous revelations. Yes, one involves Johnny Dakota. (thx, Valerie)
Artistic renditions of Ninja Turtles.
New fave blog of the week: Awkward Stock Photos.
Unhappy hipsters. (thx, Caitlar)
The 35 Most Ridiculous SkyMall Items. I want them all. (thx, Em)
Awesome celeb mug shot embroidery. I want a Hugh Grant mug shot for my powder room. And no, I don't really call it that, but I will when I start hanging embroidery in it. (thx, Stephanie)
"The U.S. National Research Council (NRC) released a new report that calls for an international asteroid defense agency that can organize a proper mission to counter possible asteroid threats." Bruce Willis, are you available?
And now, a page from my old POG binder that I found in my parents' basement this weekend when my mom as making me clean out trash:
- Paquet de graînes sur place pour l'apéritif (Package of seeds on the spot for an aperitif)
- Bouteuille de jus de pomme fermier (Bottle of apple juice)
- Paquet de graîne offert pour le départ (Package of seeds upon departure)
- Un… véritable hamster offert pour chaque séjour (A real hamster offered for every stay)
- Massage à domicile avec musique hamster (In-room massage with music hamster?)
- Livraison repas à domicile (Room service)
- Livraison vin bio à domicile (Wine delivery)
I would definitely do this for my own wedding. Definitely.
"Economics professor Daniel Johnson makes accurate Olympic medal predictions using a handful of indicators that are unrelated to sports."
This cat is definitely the best thing I saw all week, and maybe ever.
You know what's badass? Giving yourself an appendectomy.
Baby tapir vids, ohhhh yeah.
Microwaving a box of wine: actually not a great idea.
Here's an MS Paint drawing that a guy spent four years on. Yeah. Four years.
These Lady Gaga cookies are awesome.
Mitch Hedberg reference of the week. Sorry for the convenience.
Clip and save: How to Assemble Your Puppy.
This past November, I blogged about a hamster-themed hotel in France where visitors can run in a giant hamster wheel, eat hamster food, and sleep on hay. In my post about the hotel, I announced that my friend Adam and I were launching a fundraising effort to send our friend Michelle to the hotel. Michelle is currently teaching in France, so it seemed only logical that we should take advantage of her proximity to what may be the world's most exciting and elegant hotel.
Thanks to 22 generous donors, Adam and I were able to raise the roughly $360 American dollars needed to sponsor Michelle's trip. Donations were tracked using an extremely sophisticated tool called a "Ham-ometer." Our last donation came in on Christmas morning, just one month and one week after launching our ambitions international plan. Michelle went on to spend the next couple weeks overcoming the various language and hamster-culture barriers to booking her stay, and I am very excited to announce that she will be staying at the hamster hotel this weekend! Below, Michelle has posted about her trip plans, as wells as her goals, hopes and dreams for the experience of a (hamster) lifetime. She will also write a detailed recap after her trip--complete with many, many pictures.
Michelle's Pre-Trip Hamologue
January 23 shall mark the momentous occasion we've all been waiting for: I will be spending the night in the Hamster Villa at Coin Chez Soi. In order to get this reservation, I had to send a check to Coin Chez Soi, who in turn confirmed my reservation via text message. I don't know how I feel about a hotel texting me, but it does give me hope that the hotel understands technology as the whole check thing had me wondering. I mean, really, a check? In any case....Nantes is rather far away, so I'll have to take a train and a plane to get there, but I'm sure you'll agree it was well worth the trouble.
This week I told a few of the teachers at my school about my upcoming trip, and they asked some questions I bet you would be curious to have me answer. So, here goes.
Is this a joke?
Not yet. Right now its just an amusing and semi-believable tale about a lawyer with a dream, a poor English teacher with a penchant for self-mockery, and a blogger with graphic art skills. It will become a joke the moment you see the first picture.
Why did you agree to do this?
Basically, you need to understand that I will do lots of things that others might find humiliating or ridiculous if money is involved (e.g. my participation in drug trials, and attempt to eat 6 peeps in a minute for a dollar). To me, a free night in a hotel is a free night in a hotel, even if it means dressing up like a hamster and running on a hamster wheel. Also, I am a little curious about running on a hamster wheel.
Do you want to do this?
Yes? I think it will be an interesting story, albeit one I may be too embarrassed to tell. Luckily, many of my friends will get magnets in return for their donation so I can be reminded of this and prodded to retell this story at social gatherings whenever someone wanders into the kitchen and sees a picture of me dressed up like a hamster.
Are you excited about this?
I would say I'm more anxious than anything. Many people have paid actual money for this to happen, and most of them expect pictures in return. Therefore I feel a lot of pressure. At any given moment this week my inner monologue goes something like this: What would a person impersonating a hamster wear? Should I get dressed up? Does it matter that I don't have a full hamster suit? I hope I can pull off a believable hamster look. What sort of faces should I make in the pictures? Oh man, I wish Tyra Banks explained how to smile with your eyes like a hamster, because these photos have to be fierce.
Multiple sources have informed me that today is Penguin Awareness Day. This is not to be confused with World Penguin Day, which takes place on April 25 each year. So, if you were not aware that penguins exist, today would be a good day to become aware of them. This will all pay off in four months, of course, when we celebrate them worldwide.
And no, this post would not be complete without a penguin picture.
The 2010 Golden Globes were last night, which means today I have a fashion recap for you. Surely you know how this works by now.
I found the fashion last night to be sort of boring overall--way too much dusty pink/nude, for example. But here's what stood out, nevertheless:
A good dress should make a statement. Here, that statement is, "PERIWINKLE PERIWINKLE PERIWINKLE!!!!!!!!" Unfortunately, I am not such a huge fan of periwinkle. It was always the one crayon in my box that still looked perfectly sharpened midway through the school year, when good colors were all nubby from overuse. Fergie, you should have gone with Cerulean!
I think as far as to Diane Kruger's dress goes, reactions from people are going to vary widely based on how much they like taffy pulls. Me? I give it an A+. Taffy is awesome! In fact, here's an EXTREME TAFFY CLOSEUP:
Is it just me, or is Julia Roberts, like, ridiculously underdressed? I could wear this outfit to work and not get a second look. And I work in a coal mine.
Elisabetta Canalis is dating George Clooney, which means she has a lot of things figured out. One of them seems to be how to wear a dress that shows off where all the tendons and ligaments are located in the human abdomen.
Annalynne McCord's dress is like one of those optical illusions where you can see either of two things, like a vase or two faces, depending on how you look at it. But in her case, you can only see one thing: two fists grabbing her boobs.
(Also, I showed this picture to Kelly, and she called is JWOWW: Bridal Edition, which I think is also a very accurate description. This is a Jersey Shore wedding dress if I ever saw one.)
This is Jayma Mays from Glee, and possibly also from an upcoming TLC show called Help! I Didn't Know I Was a Spider!
And here is Lauren Graham, wearing an only very slightly more embellished version of the secondhand bridesmaid dress I wore to the Bridesmaid Bar Crawl in November. Needless to say, I am calling her best dressed of the night.
On the one hand, Kate Winslet admittedly looks hotttt. I would say this dress fits her like a glove, but, people, I own several pairs of gloves, and my hands have never looked like ravishing British actresses who can pull off the line "Paint me wearing this. Only this." without eliciting major laughter. So. There's that. But I have to say, I thought this was a little phone-it-insy-towns for Ms. W. Anyone agree?
Rita Wilson's dress may not actually be that bad--I'm not sure. My ability to be objective is ruined by the fever flashbacks to Paula Abdul's couch upholstery gown from the 2006 Emmys.
This is a concept piece, which I am calling "Ripples of Smugness." And as usual, Ms. Sevigny is wearing a facial expression that only people with umlauts in their names are capable of making.
That's it till the Oscars, which will hopefully contain more fug-citement for us all.