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Emmy Fashion Recap 2010: Microsoft Office Is Not a Stylist, and Other Advice

The 62 Annual Emmys were last night, and they were extremely enjoyable once you got past the fact that it sounded like everyone was saying "The 60-Second Annual Emmys."  That made me feel like they were going to bring out the Micro Machines guy and have him do the whole show superfast, then leave us with an hour and 59 minutes left before it was time to switch channels and watch Mad Men.  Anyway, while the show was very well done, the fashion was pretty boring--none of the good was good enough, and none of the bad was bad enough.  Here is my recap.

Sofia Vergara

Sofia Vergara
Sofia looked like butter dipped in glitter, but I would argue that she is the kind of woman who can pull it off.  I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but there you go.

Padma Lakshmi

Padma Lakshmi
Hmmm, navy blue dress and a bib necklace.  Where have I seen this combo before?

Padma Lakshmi2
Ohhh, right--on Padma Lakshmi, three weeks ago.  Episode 8 elimination challenge, anyone?  You are soooo busted, Padma.

Toni Collette

Toni Collette
Toni Collette is this year's reminder that you should always take a limo to the Emmys instead of fording through a swamp, Oregon-Trail style.

Lea Michele

Lea Michele
Lea Michele's Oscar de la Renta was pretty, but also pretty boring.  She also looks kind of like a Penelope Cruz impersonator here.

January Jones

January Jones
I'm gonna turn this one over to my friend Caitlar, who did a great job live-tweeting the red carpet last night.  Here's her take:

Twitter : Caitlin Hasson: january jones is trying so ..._1283206017352
BINGO.  This is exactly what bothers me about most of January's looks, but I could never find the right words to say it!

Ty and Holly Burrell

Ty Holly Burrell
I actually liked Ty's grey tux, but those shoes are kinda sad.  However, he plays someone awkward, so he gets away with it.  His wife?  Well, at least she looks happy.  Then again, I would also be happy if I'd just escaped from Las Vegas Muppet Dance Prison with only the clothes on my back.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey
I am generally too blinded by my love of Tina Fey to criticize what she wears, but I don't know about this one.  I do like the shape, but the print reminded me of Screen Beans.

Betty White

Betty_white
Speaking of Microsoft Office-inspired fashion, Betty White's dress is totally one of the custom gradient options.  I know we are not supposed to criticize Betty White, but I am just pointing out that this is not a place to go dress shopping:

Betty White2

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian
Back to Caitlar: Twitter : Caitlin Hasson: kim kardashian looks like ..._1283206444128
I have to add that her hair was giving me Pauly D flashbacks when I saw it in HD.

Stephanie Pratt

Stephanie Pratt
If nothing else, this demonstrates a strategy: when everyone else is gunning for "Best Dress," be the only one to go for "Best Shirt."  Winner by default!

Jane Krakowski

Jane Krakowski
I'm not necessarily saying I don't like this dress . . . but if you look at this picture long enough, you definitely get the impression that she is missing a leg.

Jewel

Jewel
Ehhhhhhhhhhhh.  Don't like the dress, and can't help but notice that the purse is actually the soap dish from a nursing home.

Rita Wilson

Rita Wilson
This looks like an already-bad dress that has had the additional misfortune of being caught in a net.

Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum
For being the shortest dress out there, this was still somehow too much: the rosettes were bulky, the shoes looked like they had ants crawling on them, and the necklace was not my fave.  All in all, this could have (maybe) worked for something like the Teen Choice Awards, but not the Emmys.  Let's check in with Caitlar one more time:
Twitter : Caitlin Hasson: i think heidi's overcompen ..._1283206690056 Amen.

Comments

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James Buchanan

i am glad that we are friends esp because i totally thought of calm water when i saw that betty white dress

iEatDC

I like Heidi's necklace. Agree that no one really wowed me, and it's amazing how some people who are so beautiful dress themselves to look anywhere from ho-hum to terrible

Kelaine

Las Vegas Muppet Dance Prison, your comments on Betty White, and legless Jenna. WHAT WILL YOU THINK OF NEXT, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD?

Harriet

As always, hilarious. Thanks for making me grin!

Heidi Klum

I love the dress of Sofia Vergara. Simply love the way she's carrying herself.http://www.vivamagonline.com/CoverStories_Cynthia.php The others dont seem to be upto the level. Heidi's dress looks funny. Your article was good as usual. Had an hearty laugh.

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