LMNOP

OMG, I Totally Have Married Friends Now

My friends Ashley and Matt got married Sunday in an unbelievably pretty ceremony on the Chesapeake Bay.  It was actually really, really annoying, because they are our first friends to get married and they had the perfect ceremony and location, so now the rest of us are screwed and no matter what we do it's going to look about as glamorous as Senior Night at the bowling alley in comparison.  Here's what we we're up against:

Yeah.  Oh well. 

There were some great perks of attending a wedding on the Chesapeake Bay though, the first of which was that every picture looked like a promo from some new CW show about 20somethings in a marina town. 

Secondly, the favors were Old Bay seasoning, which is really clever and Maryand-y.  It's also great news to me because having a tin of Old Bay actually doubles my spice collection.  That's good news; my Season-All was getting lonely.

A third great thing about the wedding was that Kelly was ALWAYS crying.  Girl just could not keep it together.  This has less to do with the location/theme and more to do with the fact that she is basically made up of 99% feelings and 1% texturizing hair products, but it was still funny.  Every time I turned around she was on the verge of crying again.

Even I teared up at one point, though, so I guess I can't really blame her.

There are many more pictures of the wedding here, and I keep looking at them and marveling at the fact that we are all becoming such grown-ups.  However, when that happens I simply refer to these pictures of the party the night before and think OK, maybe we're not that old yet.  Otherwise, how could you explain this:

Five Great Gunn-Shots

The secret weapon that separates Project Runway from all other reality shows is, in fact, a Gunn.  Tim Gunn.  Mr. Gunn, for whom I believe I have professed my love on this blog at least once before, plays the role of mentor to the contestants on the show and is famous for his terribly proper but somehow warm and self-aware persona.  (Here he is on YouTube.)

Caitlar gave me Tim Gunn's book, A Guide to Quality, Taste, and Style for my birthday, and obvi I've already read it cover to cover.  The book is great, and probably the best part of it is the various historical, philosophical, and mythological allusions Tim makes when explaining the concepts of fashion.  Below are a few of my faves.

On the "language" of clothing:
"Although I'm not a fan of Roland Barthes, I do subscribe to his theory that language is a self-contained system of signs."

On dressing one's age:
"The only thing sadder [than women trying to look like teenagers] is an older man, lifted and tucked, dyed and coiffed, and all dandied out.  These Gustav von Aschenbachs make me want to weep."

On avoiding the pitfalls of emotional shopping:
"The Calvinists out there may shudder at such a shallow thought, but even another $25 lipstick is a better deal than a $250 sweater bought out of frustration, boredom, or unhappiness."

From the section, "The Theoretical: Kierkegaard in Your Closet:"
"Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855), Danish philosopher, opera lover, and the man Ludwig Wittgenstein called 'the most profound thinker of the nineteenth century,' can actually be a huge help when it comes to curing one's closet."

On smart shopping at discount trend stores like H&M or Forever 21:
"The key to shopping these bargain Ngorongoro Craters is to have a plan.  Let us stay with our crater metaphor for a moment.  The Ngorongoro, by the way, is in Tanzania, adjacent to the Serengeti.  All sorts of animals live in or pass through the crater: it is a busy place, much like H&M.  The question you must ask yourself as you prepare to shop is this: Am I an ungulate or a big cat?"

Yes, that is exactly the thing you should be thinking as you walk through the doors of H&M.  That and, "How do I get past the woman at the kiosk with the $20 nail buffers who is impossible to say no to," of course.  But the latter might just be my own problem.  Either way: I love you, Tim.

Amazing

I'm having trouble composing myself here. 

Remember when I mentioned that Kelly and Carolyn would be participating in the Rock, Paper, Scissors Regional Tournament?  Well, the Regionals were tonight and CAROLYN. WON.  Here she is just a second after her victory throw (her crushed opponent is in the left corner of the photo):

People, she gets a free trip to Vegas to compete in the national tournament (ON ESPN2!) in May.  Free. Trip. To. Vegas.  Naturally, I'm buying my plane ticket tomorrow so I can support her in her bid for RPS glory.

You don't get many moments like this in life.  Congratulations, Carolyn--and don't forget the people who knew you when.

Full photo set will be up tomorrow.

Celebrating One Year of Faithful Service

Instead of having a birthday party last week, Matt decided that he would instead have a one-year anniversary celebration for his Tivo. This made for some excellent party decorations, including his "THANKS, TIVO" banner--

--and decorations on the actual Tivo unit.

The best part was the drinks, though.  They were all named after Tivo functions.  Kelly and Ashley are pictured below drinking a "Rewind" and a "Fast Forward."

(I forget the other drink names--somebody help me out.)

The Rewind involved Inca Cola and vodka, smelled like bubblegum, and tasted like the stuff surgeons rinse their scalpels in. The Fast Forward involved Hypontiq and whatever kind of juice was in Matt and Ashley's fridge.  Cranberry-something, I think.

Later in the night the "Double Rewind" was invented, and the Double Rewind is the reason that I will not be posting any of the pictures of myself from this evening.  As a matter of social responsibility I will also not post the recipe for the Double Rewind, because widespread consumption of this beverage would only result in more people walking around this Earth in a red-cheeked, glassy-eyed, EVERYTHING I SAY MUST BE THIS LOUD fashion.

Finally, Kelly made an adorable Tivo cake which I think merits special attention and praise:

It was delicious!  And Matt did a great job blowing out all the candles on behalf of Tivo:

Because blowing out birthday candles is really about the only thing Tivo can't do.

You're Practically Delirious?

Bravo has inked a deal for the all-new series "Tim Gunn's Guide to Style." Hosted by Gunn, each episode will chronicle one person's fashion dilemmas and introduce the answer to all their troubles - Tim Gunn himself, with his inimitable style, propensity for coaching and encyclopedic expertise in fashion. (more)

AWESOME.  Tim Gunn is the man.  Can't you just hear him saying this quote from the article in his Tim Gunn voice?

“I'm practically delirious that Bravo has given me this incredible opportunity and together, we vow to redefine ‘makeovers,'” said Gunn. “This series aims to be one-part education with two-parts fun, and you’ll see me being a fashion therapist, not a svengali.”

Oh, that Tim. (If you have no idea who this guy is, here--but also, shame on you.)

As I Am IMing Cassie Directions to My House

Cassie: ok when you say u-turn at the third light
Cassie: just literally do a u-turn?
me: ok before i answer that
me: explain to me how else that direction could be interpreted
Cassie: haha
Cassie: well i am not sure

This Post Has Two Parts

PART ONE

One thing about Kelly is that she always, always leaves voicemail, even if what she's calling you about is completely and totally unimportant.  This means that I often have to go through the process of calling into my voicemail and pushing all those danged numbers just to hear something like this, which she left on Saturday:

"Hey, Lauren, I was just calling you because I'm avoiding my work and watching Now and Then and I had to discuss something about Rosie O'Donnell with you--but I understand if you never want to call me back, because that's the lamest thing I've called you about ever."

Really, Kel?  The lamest thing you've called me about ever?  That's a pretty big claim.  Remember the time you called me on my phone and asked me if I had my phone?  That conversation went like this:

Kelly: Lauren, I think you left your phone in my room.
Lauren:
Kelly: Do you want to come get it?
Lauren:
Kelly: Hello?
Lauren: Kel?
Kelly: Yeah?
Lauren: Wanna know a good way to tell if I left my phone in your room?
Kelly: Sure?
Lauren: If you call me and I pick it up and talk to you on it, that means I have it.

Even if we're just sticking to voicemails though, I can call your attention to one particularly lame one you left me last week, one that went something like this--

"Hey, just listening to NPR and wanted to call you because I HATE NINA TOTENBERG'S VOICE and I know you do too.  Laterz."

It should be mentioned that this is not the first (or even the second) time you have called me just to tell me that you hated the voice of whoever was on NPR at that particular moment.  So, I think if we are going to try and choose the lamest reason you have ever called me, we would have to take all of those into consideration.

PART TWO

I wrote all of that stuff earlier today, but I couldn't figure out a good conclusion so I decided maybe I wouldn't post it.  Then Kelly called me at about 6:30 p.m. and the following conversation took place.

Lauren: Hey.
Kelly: You know, I can't believe you don't like Marketplace or Kai Ryssdal.
Lauren: Oh, I meant to tell you, I actually like that show now.  Kai has really grown on me.
Kelly: [genuinely happy] Really?  Oh, good.  That makes me so happy.  I feel like we just agreed on a mutual friend.
Lauren: Wow--you know, I was writing a post today that made reference to all of the terrible voicemails you leave me and all the times you call to just say stupid crap about NPR shows, but then I wasn't going to use it because I couldn't think of an ending.  But now I feel like I have to  use it.
Kelly: That's awesome.  Can you use a good picture of me?
Lauren: Of course.

Kickball and Puggles are My Muses, I Guess

Some of my favorite pictures from last night's Kickball All-Star game and Kick Daddyz End-of-Season Awards Ceremony:

Full set here.

Also, a few new pictures of Raven, my sister's dog/my first niece/the official LMNOPuggle, have been added to her Flickr set starting here.

Some Highlights From Boston

Cassie knew that Elle and I were coming to visit, but Carolyn and Kelly were a secret surprise.  Here they are showing up at Cassie's door:

Surprise!
Originally uploaded by themahonshow.

And here's all of us standing in front of some cool, um, meat advertisements.

All of us #2: Elle, Carolyn, Cassie, me, Kelly
Originally uploaded by themahonshow.

Full set here.  I'm warning you right now that one of the photos contains a picture of one of the ugliest typefaces from my infamous Most Fonted list, so use discretion.

Just In Case Your Monday Morning Isn't FANTASTIC! Enough

As I sat at my computer earlier this evening and reviewed the photos I'd taken today during my trip to Six Flags (with Kelly, Doug, Caitlar, and Caitlar's friend Vanessa) I was amazed at how jubilant/goony/on-happiness-crack we looked in all of the pictures.  As I went through them I realized there were barely any that didn't have at least one of us giving a thumbs up and crying out in glee.  It started to remind me of one of my favorite scenes in one of my somewhat-favorite movies, and I knew that I would not be able to get said scene and its associated song out of my head until I had made the world's cheesiest photo slideshow, complete with animated Word Art, corny transition effects, a watermark from the crappy program I downloaded for free, and, of course, background music.  So I did, and it's awful.  (Hopefully Matt Price won't confuse it with a Jeremy Ring campaign ad.)  But it's also wonderful, and it might be just the right thing to light a fire under your weary, cornflower blue, Monday-hating ass.  If you have the time, I recommend downloading it (here) instead of watching it on YouTube, because it's a billion times better when the resolution is sharper and you can really make out the crazy looks on our faces.  But of course I have it on YouTube here for you too.

Seriously, don't you feel like you were right there with us?!

Also, I imagine it's pretty clear what movie served as my inspiration for this, but here's the reference just in case. (go 1:17 in).