NINTENDO 64!!!!!!!!!
Goose Pimps On

Celebrities: They're Just Like Us (Awkward)!

Everyone knows that "body language experts" are full of crap.  Any so-called expert who is quoted an average of seven times per year by US Weekly and, oh, zero times per lifespan in an actual scholarly journal is a member of a dubious profession.  In general--and there are rare exceptions, such as the photo of Uma Thurman and Andre Balzas that appeared in the tabs like a week before they broke up--you can't really make a solid inference about a couple's personal relationship based on their body language in a photo.

Except Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.  When Tom is not in a manic upswing that allows him to forget that he is faking his affection for Katie, the photos of the two of them have sort of the same effect as awkward prom photos.  In high school, kids who go to school dances together as friends or as a first date or early on in a relationship are often really uncomfortable when all the parents with cameras try to egg them on to stand closer to one another.  This is comparable to how awkward things must be for Tom and Katie, except by creating this whole engaged scenario, they are actually the ones putting the pressure on themselves to look in love in photos.

To support my theory I have pulled some prom pictures off the Internet.  Take a look at these two kids, who are trying extremely hard to do the whole corsage thing without actually touching each other:


Then, compare it to these two kids.  Notice how, just like the prom guy, Tom is looking at the camera because it is less awkward than making eye contact with Katie; also, just like the prom girl, Katie is looking at her guy for guidance on how best to navigate these awkward waters. 


Another classic awkward pose is the one where someone is not comfortable with the prospect of hugging the person he is with, so his entire body stays turned completely forward.  In this picture below, this guy is a perfect example of this:


In this picture, Tom and Katie are both demonstrating the same  awkward positioning:


I may not have a degree in Behavioral Body Language Analysis for Weekly Gossip Periodical Dissemination, but I did minor in it, so you can trust that my analysis here is spot-on.  Just like you would with US Weekly, or In Touch on a good week.


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Was that supposed to be someone barfing?


I agree, except for the second prom picture presents a biased image as the boy in that picture appears to be wearing a suit made of Xmas tinsel garlands. I think he has probably been posed this way by the photographer who was hoping to avoid a mass-blinding when the flash hit that hid. suit. On another note, when is the March celebration appreciation dinner? I'm not eating till I feel appreciated for my poems.


a) you know how i feel about TomKat.
b) I want my friend Nacho Pizza form Bennigans so I can feel reimbursed for my hilarious pig interview that turned out to actually be kind of sad

Could you please make a comment about this guy is wearing? This is not like you Lauren. How could you let the ugliest/weirdest suit EVER made slip away uncommented on?

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