This Post May Appear At First to Be Political, But I'm Hoping You Know Me Well Enough to Guess That it Will Take a Quick Turn into Just Being Pointless and Slightly Mean
Not Every Book Makes It Into Oprah's Club

Still Lovin' Those Cyber Senators

As promised in yesterday's post, I am giving you a list of the 15 Worst Senatorial Web Pages.  Here they are, in a particular order (alphabetical):

Daniel Akaka.  He can't get any love; he was one of TIME's five worst senators, and he's on the LMNOP shit list too.  But nice manly senator lei.

Robert Byrd. Byrd's is a pretty standard Senate web site.  Note the generic tagline at the top of the page ("Leadership. Character. Commitment.") and the lame, 1990s AOL Hometown page-style "Welcome to my Internet home!"  And the graphics, much like the good senator, are looking a little rough around the edges.

Mike Enzi
. This guy must have spent a fortune on those cool graphics.  Love the animated U.S. flag gif!  Props for the careful adherence to the rules of senator web page design, though: Wyoming montage banner? Check.  Awkward personal photo?  Check.

Bill Frist.  The banner text says "Bill Frist, M.D."  The photo says "badass."

Lindsay Graham.  The real highlight of Graham's page is his Kid's Page.  Because nothing says "fun" like an olive drab/navy blue color scheme and Arial 10-pt. font!

Kay Bailey Hutchison.  More like Mary Kay Bailey Hutchison.  I feel like there should be a link at the top taking you to her personalized cosmetic sales page.

Daniel Inouye.  Continuing the trend of cool Hawaiian senator pages.  Incidentally, he wins the award for Senator Page That Most Closely Resembles an Actual Myspace.

Johnny Isakson
. The first sentence of his homepage--"Johnny Isakson is a family man, businessman, and public servant--" tells you all you need to know: Isakson is a totally generic white politician.  But by all means read on, so you can find out even more nonremarkable info.  "Johnny and Dianne have been married 37 years, and they attend Mount Zion United Methodist Church where Johnny has taught sixth grade Sunday School since 1978."  Imagine that!

Blanche Lincoln.  Love the stars, babe!

Barbara Mikulski.
  Make sure you check out the recipe for Senator Barb's Crab Cakes.  That's one pixellated crab picture!

Jack Reed
. You know how you would never expect to find anything interesting on a trip to Rhode Island? That is exactly like how you should not expect to find anything interesting on a trip to Rhode Island Senator Jack Reed's web page.

Pat Roberts.  Don't ever accuse Kansans of believing in intelligent web design.  Seriously, though, this page is by far the worst of all the senator pages in terms of design sophistication.  It looks like the personal page I made for my Into to HTML project in 10th grade Computer Applications.  But worse.

Rick Santorum. The URL for this page departs from standard senate web page nomenclature by appending /public/ to the end of the address.  I am really, really, really not interested in seeing santorum.senate.gov/private/.

Olympia Snowe.  Looks like somebody got the glamour photo package (with free stool prop!) at the local Sears Photo Department.  I approve.

Ted Stevens.  Ted Stevens is totally in touch with the people.  He even wants you to send him letters (see the "Contact the Senator" sidebar)!  Just be sure to address them to "The Honorable Ted Stevens."  Thanks.

Comments

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Matt Price

Lauren you've had some funny one-liners in LMNOPs history, but I don't think I've laughed more at any of 'em then "Don't ever accuse Kansans of believing in intelligent web design."

Matt Price

Sorry, I have a whole lot to say about Senators web pages. I guess you and I are the only ones and this is turning into one big inside joke. 3 things

--I actually might be getting a job with the political consulting firm that does all the Internet stuff for Sen. Byrd, so maybe I can turn it around singlehandedly.

--How can you criticize Kay Bailey Hutchison's website, when she prominently displays her "Golden Mouse" award for best Senate webpage?

--If you want a really awesome kids page, go to Rep. Adam Putnam's: http://www.adamputnam.house.gov/pages/kidspage.htm

Make sure you have your speakers up.

Topeka, Kansas

On the plus side, Senator Roberts "is considered the funniest senator." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pat_Roberts

Kelly Akaka

Also on the Hawaiians webpage theres a little picture of a hibiscus flower like how you have an L next to your url

Phylan's Senator

As promised, this website is absolutely disgusting:
http://www.santorum.com/

Adam Putnam

Matthew,

I'm so glad you enjoyed my dancing frog graphics and animated horse writing me an email with a quill pen.

Since you're entering the field of web design, I was wondering if you could consult me on new background music for my kids' page.

I was thinking: Take it to da House?

Let me know what you think,

Rep. A. Putnam

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