Heat Exhaustion

It's Not a Bad Outfit, It Just Has the Wrong Backdrop

One of the pleasures of my day is looking at "Star Tracks," a daily feature on the People website that shows photos (and lame accompanying captions) of what celebrities have been doing out and about in the past 24 hours. It's always a joy to click through, but today was especially interesting because I noticed that the celebs picked seemed to be wearing even more bizarre outfits than usual.  It all started with Brooke Shields in this outfit:


The People caption:
Oops! Brooke Shields heads back to a Brentwood, Calif., restaurant on Sunday – apparently to pick up the shoes she left behind.

Well, I thought it was a little remiss of the People copywriters to ignore the fact that Brooke is dressed like a caveman, so I went ahead and corrected that for them and added a new caption to boot:


Oops!  Brooke Shields heads back to the Triassic Period on Sunday--apparently in search of the last time her outfit was acceptable.

(Spare me the e-mails about how this was actually, like, the Cenozoic period, and how humans and dinosaurs never coexisted, because I don't care.)

Anyway, I went ahead and gave a few more inappropriately-dressed People celebs the LMNOPeople treatment.


People: Mary-Kate Olsen, who celebrated her 20th birthday last week with twin Ashley, makes a solo coffee run in Brentwood, Calif., on Monday.


LMNOPeople: Mary-Kate Olsen, holding a parcel of tarot cards and tambourine wax, treks behind her gypsy caravan.


People: Renée Zellweger and a friend stay hydrated during a warm Saturday morning stroll through New York City's West Village.


LMNOPeople: Renee Zellweger and some equally awkward and stringy-haired friends take a break to look through their prize bags before performing in the seventh-grade band concert Saturday morning.


People: The O.C.'s on- and offscreen couple Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson make it a date, southern style, at Hollywood restaurant Memphis recently.


LMNOPeople: The O.C.'s on- and offscreen couple Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson make it a date, western style, at the 1800s saloon where he bartends and she sluts around the piano.


People: Tom Cruise makes a high-seas entrance at the premiere of Mission: Impossible 3 in Tokyo on Tuesday.


LMNOPeople: Tom Cruise takes a recreational boat out for a doctor-supervised spin at the Los Angeles Mental Hospital Tuesday.


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Matt Price

Oh my God PLEASE make this a frequently recurring LMNOP feature. This will never get old (I'm not being sarcastic.)


Haha yeah this was extremely fun to make so I prob will do it again.


I concur, this should become a regular feature! I couldn't stop laughing at the Mary Kate picture!


I think that Brooke Shields is actually venturing out of her woodbridge apartment to interview white females to share her home "and more." She looks sheepish because flash cameras scare her.

p.s. why is adam brody sticking his tongue in his cheek as if to give the universal middle-school boy sign language symbol for oral sex?

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