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Too Lazy to Take the Stairs, But Strangely Not Too Lazy to Write Extensively About Not Taking the Stairs

In college you learn quickly that taking the elevator to the second floor is for inconsiderate d-bags and losers (and the occasional injured person).  I'm wondering, however, how strictly that rule applies to the office, because the stairs are really out of the way and inconvenient for me and I'm wondering if I can be pardoned for taking the elevator instead.  Here's the situation: on the first floor of my work building, the elevators are 20-30 ft. from the door--a straight shot.  The stairs, however, are around the corner and another 35-ish ft. down the hall. The (crude, hastily-made, way-off-scale) diagram below illustrates this setup, with the path to the elevators in orange and the path to the stairs in blue.


Already, it's evident that the stairs are a bit out of the way.  However, when you get to the second floor, it gets worse.  As you can see from the diagram below, in order to get to my office (marked with purple star) from the stairs, it is necessary for me to loop back in the opposite direction again, whereas the path from elevator to office is much more efficient.


On the times that I have taken the elevator to my floor, I have rationalized this by telling myself that I am justified and in fact correct in taking the most direct route to my office--it's efficient, and the elevators in my building are fast and plentiful. Nevertheless, I can't deny that when someone else hops into the elevator behind me and hits the "5" button, I am unable to make eye contact with that person for fear he or she will give me a dirty look.

People, I need your help: should I feel guilty about using the elevator?  Should I banish myself to the stairs?  Or should I hold my head high and take that elevator after all, because this is America and the Constitution don't say nothin' about second-floor people being second-class citizens who are relegated to the stupid stairwell?  I need you to decide this one for me.


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You walk through somebody's office to get to your office?


haha no that's supposed to be a door


I'm not so sure you can claim efficiency as your motivation considering that in the time that it took you to draw out this diagrams, write up this post, post it and then check to see what various comments people are writing you could have asked at least 50 people in person.

With that said, I think you should take the elevator because the Constitution protects every red-blooded American's right to both sloth and bloggery.

STAIRS, free exercise!


I just read your title and realized that i'm not so witty after all.

Ms. 'I drive to a metro station that's less than a mile from my apt' McNamara

It depends on how many floors there are in your building. If there are several floors above floor 2, then I say you take the stairs. Your use of the elevator in this case may inconvenience other people who can excusably take the elevator. As someone who works on the fifth floor of a building with notoriously slow elevators, it really bothers me when I have to stop at the first floor for someone who appears able to walk. But, if there are only 2 or 3 floors in your building (including yours), then screw walking. That's for dummies and/or the fully able.

Elymra Duff

Take the elevator. You know you want to.

Deacon Barry

Elevator up. Stairs down.

as someone who works in an office where we are not allowed to take the stairs (top secret security measures, seriously), i long for the day when i could forego the slow elevator and merrily skip up the two floors to my office. that said, if i was allowed to stair it, i probably would still take the elevator. might i also point you to your post of January 23 in which you relate a heartbreaking tale of awkward elevator conversation- just something else to consider in your grand debate...


I need more information. How many floors in the building? Are the elevators usually crowded at the times you take them?

Also, an anecdote:

I lived on the 9th floor in a 12-story dorm in college, and the generally accepted practice was that people on floors 2 through 4 took the stairs (right next to the elevators). One time during the dinner rush to the dining hall, we're in a packed elevator going down, and the elevator stops on 2. 2 going down. As in, you could fall down to 1 with less time and effort than it takes to wait for the lift. This strikes a nerve. Before the doors are open, I say to the elevator crowd, "What kind of effing loser takes the elevator from 2?"

The doors open to reveal Steve Mocco, undefeated heavyweight NCAA champion Iowa wrestler. The elevator crowd looks at me and this one jerk gets this grin like he's about to relay to Mr. Mocco what I think of people who take the elevator from 2. I look at my roommate standing next to me and ask "Dude, why did you say that?"

I challenge you to get yourself into a more awkward elevator situation.

Byron Mouton

i say you do what you waaaawwwnt

what i wawnt
what i WAWNT


In Ireland we call elevators lifts.

Take the lift, man.

just work from home and avoid the whole situation


Either way.

Where I work - we have 2 floors - only the 2nd floor isnt under the first floor. it's actually just next to it. Originally you could walk down 5-6 steps and you're there - but 51% of the people I work with have some sort of disability so they put in an "elevator" that goes down to the other floor - or side. It's really more lik a lift (but most call it an elevator) because it's not enclosed). I always walk outside and around to the other side of the building instead of taking the lift - because I don't have a disability and can use the steps outside of that side of the building to get there.

More info than you needed. :)

thomas paine

solution is seems your concern is being efficient, yet not inconveniencing others or looking lazy...take the elevator, and if it turns out no one else gets on, for the sake of efficency go straight to the second floor...if someone else gets on that you do not recognize from the 2nd floor, press 3rd floor, exit there and take the stairs to your destination! going down stairs is much easier and "efficent" then going up them and you will not earn the reputation of "the girl that takes the elevator to the 2nd floor"...


Mr. Paine, it seems so obvious when you put it that way--almost like Common Sense!

An elevator is a lift is an elevator is a lift is an ...

An elevator is a lift is an elevator is a lift is an ... whew! I forgot what the whatever was about.

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