Olsen Twin Fashion From Munchkin to Modern
Oct 10, 2006
The fashion story of the Olsen twins up until now could be easily told in three chapters.
No Identities Allowed
The twins' lives each revolved around being one half of Michelle Tanner; accordingly, their fashion choices showed little room for personal embellishment. I imagine a basic trip to the store with Mom Olsen went like this: walk in, grab the cheesiest Osh Kosh jumper available, walk up to the register and say, "I need two copies of this in size Munchkin. And step on it, we've got a straight-to-video movie promo shoot in two hours."
The Yin and Yang Years
As pre-teens, the Olsens expanded their brand and their respective tastes in clothes. Mary-Kate became known as the comfy-casual one; Ashley, the 'sophisticate.' The girls experimented with wearing their same-color, same-length hair in (gasp!) different styles.
Even Yinner, Even Yanger
Their personal lives became more complex (college! movies! bulimia!), and their fashion choices went in polar directions. Mary-Kate's cute comfy-casual became "scary, wanton, homeless, boho dumpster diver" with darkened hair to match, and Ashley perfected a sort-of Jackie O.-meets-recovering-child-star aesthetic. She kept the blond hair.
However, past Chapter Three it starts to get very confusing.
Lately, both twins have been dressing in outfits that seem very much
like a marriage of their two styles. It's high fashion with homeless
accents one day, and boho crap pile with stilettos and a Chanel bag the
next, and it's very hard to read. On the
one hand, I think I learned at one point that extreme ideologies going
in separate directions eventually end up converging, but a) I think it
had to do with politics, and b) I might be making it up. So maybe
that's what's going on here, but maybe it's not. The other option,
then, is that times of tumult have taken their toll on the twinbots and
they are slowly, awkwardly collapsing back into the same person again
like they were circa Full House, but--as we know--it's always easier to
get something out of the box than it is to put it back in, so the gals
are going through some awkward stages on the way.
The photo below showcases the malfunction:
To be sure, Ashley (left) is still showcasing more of the glam touches--leather jacket, aviators, skinny jeans tucked into boots, expensive bag, hipster belt, all in black black black--but what's with the decidely homeless beret, hair, baggy heathered tee, and weird stringy bolero thing? Those are distinctly Mary-Kate. (Also, don't you love how Ash's outfit and the fact that she seems to be about to snap her fingers make her look like a West Side Story extra? Like right after this photo was snapped, she started singing, "When you're a jet, you're a jet all the way?")
M-K, for her part, is upholding many of her trademark accents--disheveled hair, sour expression, weird, amorphous crocheted blanket thing, ratty long-sleeved undershirt--but has grouped them with expensive bracelets, bag, and oh-so-now ankle boots.
So what gives, girls? Is this a rough-around-the-edges transitional phase as you devolve into onsie-ness again? Did you realize that being easily pegged as "the elegant one" and "the boho one" didn't really give you any more of an identity than just being known as 1/2 of Michelle Tanner? And, while I've got you here, would it kill you to smile every now and then? I know you've got your issues, but how bad can being worth 60 bajillion dollars really be? I can't imagine things are so bad that you have to walk around in a perpetual daze, like provincial women who are shocked by the flash of a National Geographic cameraman and mystified as to what it all means.
I AM SO GLAD that you have that picture of them looking so stupid in their sunglasses. they are so WAN.
Posted by: kelbot | Oct 10, 2006 at 07:30 PM
I hate to say it because she is my idol, but I feel like in the last picture they both look like Sarah Jessica Parker.
Posted by: Caitlar | Oct 11, 2006 at 10:58 AM
Sarah J. on the worst day of her life, with no cheekbones, maybe.
Posted by: Bill Webb | Oct 12, 2006 at 07:33 PM
It's not that their sunglasses are huge per se - their faces are so damned small!
Posted by: Muffy Wong | Oct 13, 2006 at 11:52 AM
"...like provincial women who are shocked by the flash of a National Geographic cameraman and mystified as to what it all means."
hahaha, that was funny...
Posted by: Roger Hammerstein | Nov 13, 2006 at 12:33 AM
These 2 have fantastic style. They're different & they don't stick to one look - which is great, because only Barbie in her box looks the same day in and day out. The "homeless" accents on Ash's outfit look awesome! Their outfits are unique, attention-grabbing & they're not worried about what critics think! Thumbs up from me.
Posted by: Cor1347 | Sep 22, 2007 at 04:24 AM
I'm a TURKÝSH and ý love you MARY KATE and ASHLEY OLSEN
Posted by: kbra | Nov 27, 2007 at 08:33 AM
This is one of the funniest things I have ever read while randomly googling the Olsen twins. I don't even particularly *like* the Olsen twins. I don't remember how or why I ended up here...but it's been sublime. Thank you.
Posted by: lyly141 | Nov 30, 2007 at 12:38 PM
they look like they just left the thrift store.
Posted by: | Feb 12, 2008 at 08:25 AM
This is truly a great piece. My favorite part is the "amorphous crocheted blanket thing" description. The West Side character is quite a clever observation! lol
Posted by: Suzy | Nov 22, 2008 at 01:17 PM
something perfect fashion :)
Posted by: ice yarn | Mar 05, 2009 at 07:17 PM
Very nice post full with inspiration. Thank you very much writer! :)
Posted by: Ice yarns | Sep 26, 2019 at 11:26 AM
Posted by: steffan49 | Dec 17, 2020 at 05:30 AM