LMNOP

So here's the situation: my roommate Elle is in Puerto Rico this week, and my friend Carolyn will be joining her in a couple of days.  Also, my friend Emily just got back from a blissful stay in Mexico, and my BFF Kelly and I are feeling pretty jealous of them all--that is, we were feeling jealous, until we had the great idea to go on a five-day trip around the world!  Sayonara, suckers!

Every day this week I will be filing a dispatch from a new and fabulous place, because vacations are no fun if you can't brag about them! We'll call this feature:

Without further ado, here's today's dispatch, live from the SERENGETI NATIONAL PARK IN TANZANIA!

Day 1. Serengeti National Park, Tanzania

Boy, are we having fun at the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania!  It is amazing to be in a continent where so many great celebrities get their babies.

It turns out, however, that there is much more to Africa than baby orphans!  There are also lions, leopards, elephants, rhinos, buffalo, cheetahs, gazelles, giraffes, and birds.  I had seen some of these animals in zoos before, but it's amazing how different they are out in the wild.  I mean, they look the same and everything, but they don't know as many tricks.  I think that's a shame, actually.  Safaris are pretty much like big zoos without any organization.  These poor animals out in the wild don't know how to do anything cool, and they don't have any helpful fences around them to show them what area is theirs.  They must get so confused sometimes! 

Hopefully someday one of the more environmentally-conscious celebrities (Leonardo DiCaprio, I'm talking to you!) will start raising awareness about this problem and we can send some animal trainers over here to help these animals out.  It just isn't the same watching an elephant who won't raise up his front leg to win a peanut!

Our tour guide even pointed out a group of lions that were watching some gazelles drink water.  She said the lions were keeping an eye on them so they could kill them and eat them later.  Say what?!?!  That's so barbaric!  Once Leonardo DiCaprio goes over there and puts all the animals in cages, though, I think that will solve the problem.  We'll make sure they get supplied with lots of yummy fruit peels and hay and whatnot!

Here's a picture of us in our safari gear:

Boy, is the weather ever great in Tanzania!  It was 75 degrees today.  El Nino and Al Gore be damned--that's a full 10 degrees warmer than it was in Washington DC today!  Hope all you suckers back home didn't get frostbite!

Tomorrow we're going to another exciting place with lots of culture and history.  Stay tuned!