LMNOP

I thought this New Yorker piece, "The Wisdom of Children," was truly hilarious.  Here's an excerpt from Part I, "A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids’ Table:"

FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren’t.
MOM: I’m angry! I’m angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I’m angry, too! We’re angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.

So this week's theme is for the kids: A Day At Elementary School.

Art Class

• How to make a sideways room.  I really, really, really want someone to do this.
• Neato examples of animation reuse in Disney films.
• Man has slice of ham and pineapple pizza tattooed on his head. The tat was done by the same guy who inked an English breakfast on a man's head a couple of weeks ago. "The tattoo took three hours to complete and features three types of ham, chunks of pineapple and long strands of cheese dripping down Mr Helsby's neck."

Geography

• "A polar bear cub currently living in a zoo in Germany has escaped death by lethal injection after animal rights activists said he would be better off dead."
• Chinese man sentenced to death for selling overpriced ant farms.

Computer Class

• People get online and get meeeeeeean.

Media Center

• Winners of the "Pimp my Bookcart" contest for libraries.
• The sexiest TV stars.

Snacktime

• The first time I have ever looked at a brownie pan and thought, "genius!" 

Recess

• Control the white ball using the arrow keys.  Stay on top of the blue box or YOU LOSE!
• Creepy Russian playground pictures.

English
Slogan generator mixes a random thing with a random advertising slogan.  Some of the better results it generated for me:

Incest: Reach out and touch someone
Venereal disease: Get the sensation
Nerve gas: Betcha can't eat just one
Hepatitis: Yeah, we've got that

Science

• Short attention spans serve a purpose.
• "Fossil hunters have found the remains of small dinosaurs that made their home in a burrow, a finding which implies the reptiles that once ruled the world could exploit a much wider habitat than thought."

Gym Class

• Top 10 Sweet Sixteen upsets since 1996.

School's out, kids.  Have a good weekend.