LMNOP

Tonight was the season finale of Cycle 8 of America's Next Top Model, so I am finally allowing myself to talk about it on this blog.  After a slightly disappointing Cycle 7, Cycle 8 has been AMAZING--probably my favorite since Cycle 4. America's Next Top Model is a great show, and a fantastic example of how to entertain people.

America's Next Top Model is also a great example of how not to make a decision.

You see, the big pink elephant in the room with ANTM is that none of the girls who've won it have ever gone on to achieve any real commercial success whatsoever.  One of them married Peter Brady, but that's about it.  So each season, it gets a little more awkward when Tyra says things like "One of these girls is about to experience a huge. life. change." or "Congratulations--you are still in the running to become America's. Next. Top. Model." (One of the things you learn quickly while watching this show is that the last few words of every one of Tyra's sentences are actually sentences. in. themselves.)  The reason these girls really only ever end up becoming America's Next Top Wikipedia Footnotes/CW Series Pilot Guest Stars is because the format of the show (and probably of reality TV in general) is in direct violation of the main principle of good decision making.

The thing we learn in grade school while taking tests is that your first instinct is almost always the correct answer--if you rely on your gut instincts, you'll be right most of the  time.  In other words, the format for finding America's Next Top Model should really be like this:

That's not really great TV though, so reality TV shows like ANTM completely discard this wisdom in favor of another route, which I have tried to capture via the flowchart below (click to enlarge).

As we've seen time and again, the attempt to stretch what is an essentially a very simple decision (Who looks best in a bathing suit?  Her?  OK cool, let's call it a day) into a weeks-long show results in a lackluster finale.  The winner is just the one who did the best job at not losing--the one who managed, week after week, to not be in last place.  When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter how many times she was the best; it's just that she was never flat-out the worst.

ANTM isn't out to show us how to make effective decisions, though--it's out to give us one of the most entertaining hours in television.  And it does.  That's why when it comes down to it I would never want them to change a damn thing, except maybe the title.  America's Next Top Winner of America's Next Top Model seems to encapsulate things a little bit better.

We didn't win the $50,000, but I did at least take about 50,000 pictures.  Vegas is awesome, and being a member of a Rock Paper Scissors entourage is a pretty sweet way to see it.  Group shot:

I'll be uploading massive quantities of photos to Flickr this week, but here are a few highlights of our trip to 2007 USARPS National Champtionships.

1. Carolyn facing off for the whole world to see (or whatever part of it watches ESPN2 on July 7):

2. Getting to meet other awesome players with great costumes:

3. Drinking all the free Bud Light we could stomach (and then some):

4. Attending the finals and admiring Phil Gordon's reffing skillz:

5. And of course, hanging out at the after party:

I'm feeling just a tad bit UNBELIEVABLY EXHAUSTED right now, so you're gonna have to wait for the rest.

OK people, I'm leaving tomorrow morning to go to my sister's graduation in Pennsylvania, and then I'm flying out of Philadephia in the morning to cheer Carolyn on in the Rock, Paper, Scissors National Tournament in LAS VEGAS.  Please leave comments, words of encouragemet, and gambling tips and know that I will be reading them on my phone's web browser.  However, don't expect any posts until Tuesday (Tuesday!  I don't think I've ever been away for this long!) because clearly I won't be tapping them into my phone using the number pad.  Pleeeaaaaase.  It's 2007.

We're particularly excited about our Vegas trip because Ringleader Clothing was kind enough to make us free T-shirts to wear to the tournament.  Here's the design of the front:

They printed it on pink shirts though, natch.  'Cause that's how we roll.

I'll have all the pictures for you on Tues.  Till then, wish us Rock Paper LUCK.

To make up for yesterday's scary pancake pictures,here's my favorite recent photo of Kingsley.

Is it just me, or is it very Glamour Shot-esque with the dark background and his little paw perched on the couch ever so gently, and the way he's looking just slightly to the side? 

Way to show the creepy pageant babies how it's really done, Kings.

Recipe: LMNOPancakes

Click to enlarge, IF YOU ARE INSANE.

Combine ingredients in a large bowl.  Realize you have no eggs; substitute handful of chocolate chips instead.  Pour mix into too-hot pan.  Flip after a some-ish-like amount of time.  Fan smoke vigorously.  Repeat until batter is gone or smoke is too thick to continue.  Open windows to let smoke clear.  Serve and enjoy.

Close-up:

Who wants to come over for dinner tomorrow?  It's BYO fire extinguisher here, FYI.

Here's a fun riddle: what's that white thing in the backseat of this truck?

(Picture taken Sunday as we were driving to Baltimore)

Fuzzy white seatcover?

Fleece blanket?

Cotton ball sculpture?

No.  Guess again.

Yeah, it's a sheep.  (There were actually three in there, but the other ones were black and they don't really show up in the picture.)

This truck was causing quite the commotion on the Beltway and we had to jockey with a particularly enthusiastic driver with a cameraphone in order to get our shot.   But hey, it's not every day you see someone with a trunk full of livestock.

So is this a New Jersey thing, or what?

Online Condiment Package Museum.  I like the salt and pepper page.

Cute comparison of Web 2.0 design style with the logos of the 1980s.

Whoops: a New Zealand woman named Gay Hamilton sent an e-mail to a help desk that got bounced back to her because the company's filters flagged her use of the word 'Gay' as "inappropriate for business-like communications."  From the article: ". . .for Hamilton, who happens to be gay, the shock was not isolated to the reply she received but also to the fact that Telecom had spent time and resources deciding that the word 'gay' should be audited from staff communications." 

Countdown to summer.

The five biggest neuroscience developments of the year.

I read something this week that (for some reason) reminded me of Elton John's "I'm Still Standing," which prompted me to look up the song's video on YouTube.  People, drop what you're doing and watch it.  It's guraranteed to bring a smile to your face.

The first 1,000 digits of pi as a piano solo.  "The constants were 'sonified' by assigning notes from various musical instruments to the digits 0 through 9."

Facebook parody in the style of one of those obnoxious eHarmony ads.

An adorable piglet.  For some reason it sounds like there is a velociraptor in the background of the video though.

Colors that have stood the test of time.

An album of covers of Smashing Pumpkin songs will be released on MySpace May 14.

From The Onion: "NEW YORK—Hoping to replicate the success of the Emmy-winning NBC show The Office, executives at CBS announced Monday that the network will adapt the highly rated comedy for CBS audiences."

Calendar of upcoming season finales.

If you don't see it, press refresh a few times or just hit F5 once.

From a conversation earlier this week:

Kelly: hey what's that song that's like
  "if you have 5 dollars put yo hands up"
  "all the chicken heads BE QUIET"
me: oh, that would be the remix of love like this
  from the save the last dance soundtrack
Kelly: is that the one about having fake nails being lame
me: no thats the one that's like "let me clear my throat . . ."
Kelly: oh that's the one i want
me: whatever it is you are doing
  i am confident that it is productive
  based on your questions
Kelly: yea
  um
  clealry i am productive
me: CLEALRY

***Later on in that same conversation***

me: im trying to focus but im also tryiing to photoshop a third arm onto you in this one picture
  so i can go home
  haha
Kelly: hahahah
  yes
  good
me: haha
  my busy life
Kelly: right? it never ends

Obviously, technology has helped us to become more productive, intelligent, efficient human beings.

And articulate.  Don't forget articulate.

I have two things I need input on, so I decided to group them into one post.

First off, this picture of Kingsley in a pan that Kelly included in her blog post today is just crying out to be made into an lolcat.  What should we caption it with?

Secondly, explain to me: are Mentos supposed to be eaten all at once like regular candy, or over the course of several days like mints?  I know my position on the matter, but I am wondering if it is correct.

Your thoughts on either or both of these matters are greatly appreciated.