LMNOP

Three-day weekends are for a lot of things--camping, travelling, swimming, sleeping--but not a lot of Internet-ing.  In case you're feeling out of the loop, here's what you missed over the holiday.

Miss USA tripped
My favorite clip from the weekend is this video of Miss USA Rachel Smith tripping and falling at the Miss Universe pageant last night:

I'm not laughing at her, though--she has mad cred with me now. First of all, as an American, I can honestly say that the person i want representing me at a huge global event is the one who falls down. Anything else would seem extremely unauthentic.  Second of all, did you see how fast she got back up after slipping?  Her ass hit the floor at :07, and she was completely erect again by :09.  That's unbelievable! 

Lindsay Lohan snowballed out of control
It is my journalistic obligation to tell you about this and this, but I'm not discussing it any further.  Don't want the karma.

Rosie O'Donnell quit The View
This whole thing is extremely confusing and made even worse by the ridiculous writing style Rosie uses on her blog.  Let's all just keep not watching The View.

War, Escalating Tensions in the Middle East, Etc., Etc.
That's all still going on.

In short, you didn't miss much.  You have plenty of time to watch the Miss USA video again.