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Universal Truths About Shopping at Target

1. You only make the mistake of wearing a red shirt to Target once, because after that one trip is ruined by fellow shoppers constantly mistaking you for an employee, you will never forget again.

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2. Target can fill a prescription in 20 minutes.  20 minutes is not long enough for you to be able to go home, but it's also too long for you to be able to just stand at the counter.  So what is 20 minutes?  It is the exact amount of time it takes you to find $80 worth of crap you want to buy.

3. Actually, no matter what you go into Target looking for, you always end up spending $80.  Whether you're getting a pretty good deal on a patio set or you just went in for shampoo and then spontaneously end up buying three body pillows, a photo album and a rocking chair, it always evens out to $80.

4. You can go into Target on a Monday and buy a crap load of stuff--everything you thought you needed--but if you go back again on Tuesday you will still somehow be able to find at LEAST as much stuff that you need.

Comments

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meg'

Amen. Hallelujah. You speak the truth.

Tori

I <3 your cartooning.

Melissa

Hahahaha...oh, that is too true. I really do spend $80 every time I go to Target, no matter what I go in there for. I'm glad I'm not the only one that happens to.

targetoid

My feeling has always been that there is a $100 spending minumum to get out of Target alive. Spend another 10 minutes, and you'll find that other $20 worth of cleverly designed and packaged non-essential merchandise you SIMPLY MUST HAVE.
What's worse is that in a few years, when your life has become more mundane, you'll find that Target becomes your Friday night family activity....not that that's happened to me or anything...

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