Recent Awkward Moment, Written in the Present Tense So You Can Feel the Uncomfortableness Right Along With Me
At the grocery store, I am standing and staring blankly and intensely at nothing in particular as I wait to pay for my groceries. I'm fidgety, so I begin to crack my knuckles. One of them stubbornly refuses to pop, so I employ the motion I always do when this happens: I make a fist with that hand and then repeatedly pound it against the palm of my other hand a few times.
Suddenly, I become aware of the fact that two lines over (in the general direction I am staring in), a young woman with a baby is looking at me with a mix of terror and confusion. I realize she thinks I have been staring at her, but I don't get why she looks so afraid. Then I realize that the motion I am using to crack my knuckles is the exact same as the menacing motion the bad guys in movies usually make when they are threatening to punch someone.
Please tell me I am not the only person who goes into the store to buy Pop Tarts and ends up borderline assaulting women and small babies.