LMNOP

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• elan
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• phalaenopsis
• recondite

I've totally gotten into Mad Men (fortunately, this does NOT violate my code of hating the 1950s, because it takes place in the early '60s), but there is one thing about the show that mystifies me to no end: the obscene amount of drinking that goes on in the offices of Sterling Cooper.  Almost every office scene features an alcoholic drink being poured or consumed.

At first, I thought this was very cool; however, the more I think about it, the more I tend to conclude that alcohol and work should not be combined--at least, not in my case.  My problem is not so much with the work ethic it connotes--just the extreme drowsiness.  One drink at 9 a.m. would probably put me to sleep until noon, and then the lunchtime martini would have me out till three.  That would hardly leave time for 1960s Lauren to come up with sweet ad copy for Clearasil and Samsonite.

(1960s Lauren)

So, did they really drink that much during work hours back then?  If so, I demand to know what they were having.

Here's Pancake with two other dog park regulars.  The pug is named Vader, and the black poodle in the corner is Picaso.

Many are the times I've had to go home and rinse Vader-spit off of Pancake.

So yeah, a gas leak kinda kept me out of my house the past couple days, but it is more or less relatively safe-ish to be in here now, so here are some links:

• The U.S. Mint has unveiled new designs for the penny.  Looks nice, but come on: if you give something completely useless a new face, it's still useless.  Just ask Carrot Top.  (Zing)
  
• Pictures of the filthiest apartment you will ever see.  This place makes me look like Martha Stewart.
• Billed as a sort of Sartorialist for old people, Advanced Style is a new blog with really cute pictures.
• Man decorates his entire basement with Sharpies.
• The latest cutting-edge tool to be used in NASA research: rubber duckies.
• What a McDonald's hamburger looks like after 12 years.
• The official head pose of gay people on magazine covers is . . .
• How to theft-proof your sandwich
• Do you know the laws about purchasing tadpoles online in your state?

I'll probably do a late-edition Pancake Dinner tonight as well.  See you then!

Royal Tennenbaum Finger Puppets, $39
This shop also features a Barack puppet and an Ira Glass one.  Yes, you can now have your own little felt Ira Glass.

Knitted Power Cord, $25
A scarf/belt/whatever for nerds/electricians/whatever.

Elliot Bird Necklace, $65
Not as eccentric as a live parrot on your shoulder, but also will never poop on your head.

Milk and Bread Necklace, $40
Maybe next this seller can make solid gold twist ties.

Harper Coin Purse-Made of Salvaged Banner, $8
Just bought one of these for myself.

Beep Boop Oop Card, $2.25
When you care enough to send your very robot-est.

This is Wilma.

She is a life-size rendering of a 43,000-year-old Neanderthal woman.  Wilma was commissioned by National Geographic for this story and designed from fossils and DNA information from a particular female specimen.  Because the DNA of the woman they based her on suggested that she was a redhead, scientists named the reconstruction Wilma after Wilma Flintstone.  However, from the neck down, she's built a bit more like Fred (Neanderthals were pretty stocky).  Click here for the photo gallery.  I would post a picture, but big W is somewhat nakey-nakey and I know some of you are at work.

Anyway, I don't think Wilma looks too bad; give this lady a shower and a hairbrush, and you've got someone who would meet the standards of even the pickiest Geico caveman.  Check out those natural highlights!

I didn't read the whole National Geographic article, but let me know if you make it through all 10 pages.  I will be worrying about more important things, like starting a letter-writing campaign to get Wilma on the cast for season three of American Gladiators.

As I mentioned yesterday, Pancake got to go swimming last week.

Here he is outside the pool looking like a soggy, stringy mutt:

I put up a Flickr set with all of the doggie pool party pictures here.   Don't miss the ones of Riley in the water!!

Carolyn's apartment complex does this thing where they let everyone's dogs go swimming in the pool on the last day before it gets cleaned out, so naturally we took Riley and Pancake to the pool party.  Neither of them enjoyed the actual swimming part too much, preferring to chase the other dogs in circles around the pool, but we threw them in a couple of times anyway.
Go, Panny, go!

The hotel I am in right now has an art deco theme, which means they decided to take advantage of the fact that the building is old and somewhat confusingly built by saying hey, let's pretend that was on purpose.  So the decorations in this art deco hotel are all very, you know, art deco--it's really unfortunate that I don't know a synonym for "art deco," isn't it--and this turned out to be a real problem for me during check-in.

The front desk girl gave me my key and told me to take the elevator to my floor; she pointed to the right as she said "elevator," which I'm guessing is usually enough instruction to give someone about the location of an elevator in a 20 x 30 foot lobby.  But when I turned to the right, all I could see was doors, and I got really confused.  I walked a little further down the lobby, but didn't see any elevators, so I turned back around and looked at the receptionist.  She pointed her thumb again in the same direction, and I looked where she was gesturing and I saw no elevator.  I was totally baffled, and I didn't want to make eye contact with the receptionist again because she was already looking at me like she was wondering if I was some kind of time traveler who was unfamiliar with modern conveniences.

I was starting to feel really helpless and momentarily comtemplated bolting out the door and sleeping on the street, but fortunately at that moment a couple stepped out of one of the doors on the wall and I realized it WAS the elevator.  It was just some stupid art deco shit that had a fancy retro door in FRONT of the regular elevator door.  Like I was supposed to be able to figure that out by myself.  Please.

My newest craft project involves trying to make cool stuff using scraps from the Choose Your Own Adventure book I found at the thrift store a while ago.  So far I have made magnets (above) and a necklace, but I need more ideas.  If you think of anything, put it in the comments and maybe I will even make it FOR YOU!