LMNOP

There is a certain poetry to the way junk e-mail subject lines are written, so today I decided to scan my Spam folder for subjects containing five or seven syllables.  The following haikus were created from those lines, which I neither edited nor rearranged.  The lines were placed into the haikus in the exact order I found them*, and the resulting bits of profundity have made me think that perhaps there is some sort of sacred geometry behind all of this spam.

Spamku #1:
Jumpstart your love-life
The ultimate New Year gift
Replica watches

Spamku #2:
Can't find you, darling
Lets meet as usually
Time is Running out

Spamku #3:
We need you here, now!
I'm in trouble, where are you?
Let me share with you

Spamku #4:
We need your presence
Selection of honorees
Women like big ones

Spamku #5:
Your account was blocked!
Performance Package for Men
Your account was blocked!

Spamku #6:
Cash in with Google
Is debt written on your face?
real hero in bed!

Spamku #7:
Unbelievable!
Replica watches, bags, pens
U can be healthy!

Make some Spamku of your own in the comments, por favor.  Or a Spamrick (Spams that rhyme in an AABA pattern).  Or ISpambic Pentameter.  Or a Spamquain.  Or a SPonnet.  Be creative.  That's what I pay* you for.

*Or I guess I should say, to clarify, that the fives and sevens are in the exact respective orders I found in them in.  Like, sometimes when I needed a five to finish a poem, the next qualifying line was a seven, so I would take that seven as a placeholder for the next haiku and keep looking for a five to finish the previous one, if that makes sense.
**Restrictions apply.  To everyone.