LMNOP

I turned 26 today, which means I woke up to an e-mail inbox flooded with 15% off coupons and ultra-sincere birthday greetings from every online retailer, mailing list, or online service I have ever provided my date of birth to.  This includes a website I visited once three years ago to download the installation instructions for a piece of IKEA furniture, and I have to say, every year it gets more and more bizarre to receive my automated birthday greeting from that site.  Believe it or not, I do not require annual contact from a web entity that one time offered me passive assistance in assembling a coffee table.  Weird, I know.

I also received greetings from actual, real-life friends and acquaintances, which I appreciated much more genuinely, even if they did not include coupons for The Gap.

Since my birthday this year seems to have fallen on a Monday and I am now far, far too old to do any intense celebrating on a weekday, I did most of my birthday-related activities over the weekend.  Megan and Tori took me out for sangria, cupcakes, and a movie about cleaning up after dead people, which was lovely; additionally, Kelly and Doug brought me to lunch at Gordon Biersch, where our waiter proudly informed us that the restaurant has an ongoing friendly competition with Joe's Crab Shack to see who is responsible for more DUI and DWI violations.  (I do not know how they track this information.  I also hope they do not plan on incorporating it into any future marketing materials.)

Finally, I had a nice meal with my family last night and then invited all seven of them back to my house.  We had cake and I opened presents, and then they got out of there as soon as they could because a.) there was a Celtics game on, and b.) the house I live in can barely accommodate me, my roommate, and our two little dogs, let alone a vast clan of McMahons.

I got all kinds of awesome birthday presents, like temporary knuckle tattoos, Firefly vodka, clothes,  awesome lip balm, and some other stuff that will be available on eBay as early as tomorrow (just kidding).

I have quite a bit of blogging to catch up on now that I have a functioning computer again, so stick around.  You will know me by my THUG WIFE knuckle tattoo.

Hello friends,

Over the weekend, the hard drive on my iMac* crashed.  This has rendered me temporarily computer-less, with nothing to do but ponder my own bad luck and try to figure out why this happened to me.  Currently, my three leading theories for why my drive crashed are thus:

1. It got swine flu
   
2. It collapsed under the sheer weight of all those pictures of my dog
3. I have bad karma for crimes committed against athletic trainers

Regardless of the reason for the crash, the consequences are the same: I have to buy a new hard drive.  I perhaps could have done this already, but did I mention that this weekend I also crashed my car into a curb and had to have some serious work done on my bumper?  (My leading theory for why that happened is merely that I am a bad, bad driver.)  So I have been a bit preoccupied with that.

Anyway, this site is on temporary hiatus until I get my computer working again.  I will see you then.

*Yes, the iMac I bought a year ago.  Actually, a year and two months ago.  The two months difference is important to note because that is the amount of time since the one-year warranty expired.  Natch.

Posted by James Buchanan on behalf of a bereft and computer-less Lauren.

Working on the toy he yoinked from Pebbles.

Pancake is afraid to take any toys from Pebbles, even if they are just sitting next to her and she's not even using them.  However, if he reeallllllly wants something, he will attempt the sneaky "sideways yoink" move seen above.

It has been unbelievably rainy these past two weeks, causing my already-scarce motivation to wane dangerously close to zero.  But the sun is out today, so I think I can manage to eke out a link post.

Hang this poster up in your time machine.  Very useful.

A doormat for all you iPhone nerds.

PostSecrets through history. (thx, Matt)

Good Cracked post: 6 People with Amazing Abilities (That are Totally Useless).  Includes a video of a cup-stacking boy phenom.  Also: "Bobby Badfingers, who claims the title of world's faster snapper at 30 snaps a second, is a professional snappist whose live act comprises of, according to his website, 'mixing finger-snapping with mesmerizing, pelvic-jutting dance moves, which he based on martial arts footwork.'"  HOT!

Speaking of stacking things, check out the art this dude makes by stacking eggs.  Whoa.

Subway systems of the world, shown to scale.

Love these realistic illustrations of violence from 8-bit Nintendo games.

Afghanistan's only pig has been quarantined.  Poor little guy.  (thx, Jerome)

Sadface, Tuvalu!

Last night's Real Housewives of New York finale did not disappoint.  Probably my favorite moment was the clip below.  Did anyone else catch Ramona's pronunciation of the word "kudos?"

Ka-dooze indeed, Ramona.

After viewing the show's first two episodes, I have decided that all Daisy of Love contestants fall into one of two categories:

1. Guys I would be scared to be alone in a room with
2. Guys I would be terrified to be alone in a room with

Good luck finding love, Daisy.  I truly hope that finding your one special person will be worth the 19* restraining orders you will probably have to file against the rejected gentlemen.

*Or just 17, if she can get one that counts for all three of those bizarre Swedish triplets.

Pancake and his buddy Tucker on a recent play date at the dog park.  This was a rare moment of stillness on a day that included much running, wrestling, and wriggling.

I gotta tell ya, I wasn't very happy with the Internet this week--a little too swine-y for my tastes.  But I have to say, this video pretty much made up for it:

Other than that, I've got an optical illusion, texts from last night (possibly nsfw, depending on your 'w'), and some sweet, sweet chicken in a can.  It's not much, but it's pretty much all the non-swine-flu Internet there is right now.