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20 posts from December 2009

This Week in Internet: OMG LAST LINKS OF 2009 Edition

This chart is a very handy way to remember the past 10 years all at once (thx, Matt)

In other news, scientists have bred see-through goldfish, because they were done ripping Band-Aids off their foreheads and needed a new activity.

Sorry, you can't go to Turkey.  You are too . . . name-y.

Turns out most of Metro's longest escalators areon the Red Line.

Is being a conjoined twin a get-out-of-jail free card?

Relative prices of different liquids.  Yes, printer ink costs more than human blood.

This set of pictures of different animal species in utero kept making me think of Shakira's "She-Wolf" video.

Sorry, your flight has been delayed due to otters.

That's it for 2009.  Happy New Year!

Some Wholesome Family Christmas Programming, Wherein the Word "Shit" Is Only Used Once

Merry Christmas!  Here are some pictures of my family doing our annual gingerbread decorating festivities.  We do it every Thanksgiving, because 364 days is just long enough to forget how difficult it actually is to squeeze that godawful frosting.  This year's teams were:

Team Gingerbread House: Me, my brother, and his girlfriend Sasha.  The behavior you see in the picture is about as helpful as my brother got.  Sasha was the backbone of our frosting effort, while I mainly focused on detail work, drinking wine, and shit-talking with the other team, which was . . .

Team Gingerbread Tree, aka my older sister Kelly.  She was supposed to be joined by her husband Brian and my sister Kate, but Brian suddenly got very busy watching football, and Kate started dramatically coughing and claiming to be sick.  It was all very suspicious.

To see how the creations turned out, check the photo set.  Enjoy your Christmas--I know I will be having a great time ripping open every box in the hopes that it contains a Snuggie or a Whimsical Watch.

This Week in Internet: Christmas Eve Edition

Just a few pre-Christmas links before I go set my humane reindeer traps:

Smoking Gun's best mug shots of the year.

This week in Jersey Shore: The Real Situation, fourfour's hilarious episode three recap, The Jersey Shore Handbook, and the relationship between house music and fidelity

Cat links of the week: amazing pile of cats, GPS kitty, the 30 most important cats of 2009

Can you find all 56 visual cliches in this picture?

Merry Christmas, here's 100 animals in Santa hats!

Frog in Pepsi can spurs FDA concerns.  Ribbit.

Merry Christmas!

The Latest in Ninja Turtle Fashion

Things you can actually buy right now:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle snuggies.  From Hot Topic.  For some reason, Leonardo is not available, which is unfortunate.  Also, if you got one, you would be buying something from Hot Topic.  But still.  They exist:

The price is $28 and they are evidently available in One Size Fits Emo Boy.

Shredder hoodie.  Sold here.  Made from a fine poly/cotton/excessive '80s-'90s nostalgia blend.  Not only does it have arm spikes, but that face mask looks pretty warm. 


I must say, these all would have been fine things to have owned when I was walking Pancake around the block in his Master Splinter costume.

This Week in Internet: Presidents, Sumerians, and Cruella De Vil

Hilarious: A pictorial guide to avoiding camera loss.


Baby tapir born in Massachusetts!!  She is uh-dor-uh-ble.

Lady Gaga Barbies; this one is awesome.

Five bizarre tax deductions from around the world.

Counterterrorism.  For kids!

Selling wants to buy haves.  This is a good way to get a Snuggie.

10 great sciency movies of the 2000s.  I've seen . . . a few.

I might want this even more than I want a life-size plush donkey.

43 facts about 44 Presidents.  "Richard Nixon always wore a coat and tie – even when he was at home by himself, according to one biography."  How very Tobias Funke of him.

45 of the weirdest college scholarships.

Onion of the week: Sumerians Look On In confusion as God Creates the World.

Top 10 cartoon villains.  Props to Cruella De Vil for being the only female on the list.

Stereotyping people by their favorite authors.

Even Better Than a Whimsical Watch

Today I read about, which claims to be "The source for all your Lifesize Life Size and Large Plush Animals." (Lifesize AND Life Size!!!  That, my friends, is selection!)  After a quick perusal of the site, which is organized into categories like "Arctic," "Farm," and "Monkeys," I think I have settled on a favorite Lifesize Life Size plush animal of all:

You are looking at the site's "Large and Realistic Ride-On Donkey," which costs just $450.  Only $450 for a life-size fake donkey that I can sit on?  Umm, what is donkeyspeak for "I'll take two, please?"  Because now that I have seen this thing, I cannot  understand why Americans typically have couches in their homes.  Clearly, we should all be sitting on huge stuffed donkeys instead.  They take up roughly the same amount of space as couches, but ARE DONKEYS.