LMNOP

The 2010 Golden Globes were last night, which means today I have a fashion recap for you.  Surely you know how this works by now.

I found the fashion last night to be sort of boring overall--way too much dusty pink/nude, for example.  But here's what stood out, nevertheless:

Fergie

A good dress should make a statement.  Here, that statement is, "PERIWINKLE PERIWINKLE PERIWINKLE!!!!!!!!"  Unfortunately, I am not such a huge fan of periwinkle.  It was always the one crayon in my box that still looked perfectly sharpened midway through the school year, when good colors were all nubby from overuse.  Fergie, you should have gone with Cerulean! 

Diane Kruger

I think as far as to Diane Kruger's dress goes, reactions from people are going to vary widely based on how much they like taffy pulls.  Me?  I give it an A+.  Taffy is awesome!  In fact, here's an EXTREME TAFFY CLOSEUP:

Julia Roberts

 

Is it just me, or is Julia Roberts, like, ridiculously underdressed? I could wear this outfit to work and not get a second look.  And I work in a coal mine.

Elisabetta Canalis

Elisabetta Canalis is dating George Clooney, which means she has a lot of things figured out.  One of them seems to be how to wear a dress that shows off where all the tendons and ligaments are located in the human abdomen.

Annalyne McCord

Annalynne McCord's dress is like one of those optical illusions where you can see either of two things, like a vase or two faces, depending on how you look at it.  But in her case, you can only see one thing: two fists grabbing her boobs.

(Also, I showed this picture to Kelly, and she called is JWOWW: Bridal Edition, which I think is also a very accurate description.  This is a Jersey Shore wedding dress if I ever saw one.)

Jayma Mays

This is Jayma Mays from Glee, and possibly also from an upcoming TLC show called Help! I Didn't Know I Was a Spider!

Lauren Graham

And here is Lauren Graham, wearing an only very slightly more embellished version of the secondhand bridesmaid dress I wore to the Bridesmaid Bar Crawl in November.  Needless to say, I am calling her best dressed of the night.

Kate Winslet

Rita Wilson's dress may not actually be that bad--I'm not sure.  My ability to be objective is ruined by the fever flashbacks to Paula Abdul's couch upholstery gown from the 2006 Emmys.

Chloë Sevigny

This is a concept piece, which I am calling "Ripples of Smugness."  And as usual, Ms. Sevigny is wearing a facial expression that only people with umlauts in their names are capable of making.

That's it till the Oscars, which will hopefully contain more fug-citement for us all.