LMNOP

Last Friday, the public radio program Marketplace featured an interview with my archnemesis, the Free Credit Report guy.  You know--this guy:

(Everyone take a five-minute shuddering break.)

Apparently the dude is a French Canadian named Eric Violette.  He doesn't actually sing the songs you hear in the commercials; he is lip syncing to the work of someone else (presumably the only slightly less camera-ready Satan).

The interview, transcribed here, contains a few quirky anecdotes, like about how Violette couldn't properly lip sync the line "should have seen it coming/just like an atom bomb" because of the dumb way French people pronounce "atom."  Ha!  But then, all of a sudden, Violette says the following when asked about the fame the commercials have brought him:

"Yeah, I did receive some pictures of women naked. The first time, I was so surprised. It's so flattering, but she sent these pictures to the guy on the commercial, you know, so it's not me."

HOLD THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT.  Someone--no, make that someones, as in multiple humans--sent NAKED PICTURES to the Free Credit Report guy.

I'd always thought there were only two types of people in this world: people who hate the FreeCreditReport.com guy, and people who have somehow yet to see the FreeCreditReport.com commercials.  The fact that this kid has actual fans sending him actual naked photographs is incomprehensible.  Who are these women??  Did they get bored of sending their underwear to the Micro Machines guy?  I am extremely disturbed.

Smugopedia: your source for "slightly controversial opinions about a variety of subjects" that will make you sound nice and smug at parties.  (Example: "Although Pavarotti was clearly very talented, his fame was inflated by the London and Decca marketing machines. Domingo or even Corelli were obviously his equal.")

Videos to see: Mortal Kombat vs. Oregon Trail, Cat Obstacle Course, Cat vs. Baby

This monkey is learning about himself!

The Mazda Pi

Celebuzz "Where Are They Now?" of the week: '90s teen idols!  We need to get Devon Sawa back on the radar.

Duck Hunter S. Thompson

Old Barbie commercial that gets slightly odd around 0:15. (thx, Stephanie)

Witness this bizarre teen song/dance/workout?maybe? video from way back, featuring Alyssa Milano.  The song is called "Teen Sweat."  It will be stuck in your head for approximately ever.

I was totally behind Japan when they came out with the robotic baby seal, but this is creepy.  From this article:

A group of students in Japan have created an eerily realistic robot baby to motivate young people to start planning a family and boost the country's plunging birth rate.

The automated doll developed at the University of Tsukuba, called Yotara, giggles and "wakes up" when a rattle is shaken.

He sulks and dozes off like a real baby and smiles when his stomach is rubbed.

The robot can also sneeze and have a runny nose, thanks to a heated water pump system.

THE ROBOT WILL ALSO HAUNT YOUR DREAMS.  Watch the video:

Somehow I do not see Japanese birth rates shooting through the roof because of this thing.

(via)

Here's Pan-Man super-nomming on his new fave treat: a rolled up stick of buffalo hide.  He LOVES these.

Some Manly 19th Century Vernacular for you.

If you see only one insanely bizarre Japanese cracker commercial this month, make it this one.

Dogs dressed up as lady Gaga.  It needed to happen.

The faces of some famous voice actors.

Research indicates that reindeer have completely lost their biological clocks.

BWE investigates and brings us the first Google search result for every letter of the alphabet.  Nice work.

And finally, a Persian bearskin rug.

1. Watch this video AT LEAST until 0:17


2. Get a pet lamb named Bea
3. HAVE THE BEST LIFE EVERRRRR

If you are participating in this year's LMNOP Invitational,you must sign up and complete your bracket before tomorrow at 12:30 p.m. Eastern. Don't miss this chance to win a meaningless virtual plaque!

Details on entering are in Monday's post.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is officially that time again--time for you to enter your picks in everybody's* favorite March Madness pool!  Believe it or not, the LMNOP Invitational is now in its fifth year, which is a very special milestone.  Please celebrate by joining up and filling out a bracket!  Here's how:

1. Sign up for a Yahoo account if you don't already have one.  It's free.
2. Find our group by clicking here and hitting the big yellowish button that says "Join this Group."
3. Enter "weemer" if the site requests a group password.

If you're having trouble, leave a comment on this post or e-mail me.

As always, the first place winner will be immortalized in the world famous LMNOP Hall of Fame, taking a seat among such famous individuals as last year's winner, my younger brother Michael.  So sign up!  Now!

*Requires a very loose interpretation of the word "everybody"

This is kind of a hilarious prank.

Take this quiz and find out how many Earths it would take to sustain your lifestyle.  Warning: you will probably feel like a disgusting resource hog at the end.

Hahahahahaha

Lists: 12 Unexpected Snuggie Wearers; 10 Stars Who Got Their Start on Nickelodeon

Looks like beer makes you more attractive to mosquitoes.  Sorry.

Some of the best Google logos.

Mad Men Barbies!

Awesome shark sweater for cats.

Ummm, a Michael Bolton/Lady Gaga collab would be amazing.

Check out the faces of some famous hand models.

More accurate movie titles for some of the Oscar-nominated films.

Former Saved by the Bell cast member life milestone of the week: Mario Lopez to become a father.

Nerds, you're probbbbably gonna like this: go here and type in some text.  The reverse graphic calculator will turn it into a function for you.  For example, here's what you get when you type in my name:

 

Good to know.