The Golden Globes were last night, and they were pretty damn boring. It never ceases to amaze me that if you take a room and fill it with the most entertaining people of the year, all they end up doing is stunning everyone into complete boredom with the most awful acceptance speeches ever.
The fashion wasn't very exciting, either, which is an even greater shame. I did what I could in terms of a recap, but I wish there'd been more to work with.
This fringed boob-showcaser was perhaps the most controversial dress of the night: it was on just as many Best Dressed lists as Worsties. But one thing we can all agree on? January Jones = Hottest. Sea anemone. Ever.
Sorry, other sea anemone.
After the 2009 Oscars, I described Tilda's style of dressing as "Things That Would Not Shock a Time-Traveling Pilgrim at All." I feel no need to update this assessment.
HELENA BONHAM CARTER
How I imagine Helena's thought process, in four steps:
- I know! I'll wear a red shoe and a green shoe! So wacky.
- But . . . crap. How will colorblind people know my outfit is bad?
- [Selection of dress, sunglasses, hairstyle ensue.]
- Good to go.
But, at the end of the day, is there really any point in putting Helena Bonham Carter on a Worst Dressed list? No. There isn't. She doesn't care. So I say: well played, HBC. Well played.
Did you know "Sandra Bullock" is an anagram for "Skull and Cobra?" I do now, because I was trying to figure out an anagram that contained the word "Sad" in the hopes that said anagram would help me describe this dress a little better. Because Sandy B is not really working it in this, and she looked way more subdued than usual last night. Unfortunately for my anagram. this has nothing to do with skulls and cobras.
True story: I was flipping through red carpet galleries before I went to bed last night, and this dress was one of the last things I saw before I fell asleep. I then had a dream that I was eating candy corn.
Lastly, I like Annette Bening as much as the next person--actually, I probably like her more than the next person does, unless the next person is, like, Warren Beatty--but this made me laugh really hard: