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It Should Go Without Saying That I Have No Soul, Either

So Nancy O'Dell is a person, one of the ones on E! or something, and she hosts one of those shows, like Now That's What I Call Celebrities Doing Shit or whatever. (I don't really have the time to look it up right now, because I have a Cat vs. Washing Machine video waiting in my next tab that I am d-d-d-dying to get to.) Anyway, the point is, this woman is not particularly famous and I do not particularly care about her, but I did come across this picture of her today in a People's Choice Red Carpet gallery:

Nancyo_dell
And it made me realize: in all my years of casually, occasionally seeing photos of this woman (deep in the parts of red carpet slideshows where the most marginally relevant people are kept), I have never seen a photo in which she looked even sliiightly alive inside. Like, this woman has the deadest. expression. ever.

(Sidenote: this reminds me of college, when Kelly and I would use the insult "dead inside" so much that we abbreviated it to "D.I.," then "die," then "die-die," and so on. We were impossible to be in a room with.)

So anyway, that's when I decided to play a game. The game is called Let's Scroll Through Google Image Results for Nancy O'Dell Until We See One Where She Looks Like She Has a Soul. Care to play along?

Nancy-o-dell-picture-1 (1)
TOTAL NUMBER OF SOULS DETECTED: 0

Nancy-ODell-leaves-Access-Hollywood-p1
TOTAL NUMBER OF SOULS DETECTED: 0

Nancy-o-dell-picture-3  
TOTAL NUMBER OF SOULS DETECTED: 0
 
Nancy-odell-56th-annual-primetime-emmy-awards-arrivals-u92y2b
TOTAL NUMBER OF SOULS DETECTED: 0
Nancy-odell-entertainment-tonight-lara-spencer
TOTAL NUMBER OF SOULS DETECTED: 1, BUT IT'S THE BABY'S

. . . . And so on. This went on for several rows of scrolling. And then--what did I see? Jewel!

Jewel

Jewel is ALL UP in the search results for Nancy O'Dell; she appears multiple times, like the infiltrated the page. Moral of the story? Jewel: still obsessed with saving souls, even after all these years.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to.

Comments

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NG

Oh my gosh. That was a long way to go for a joke... and totally worth it.

Odell Fan

You ever walk down the street and see a crazy (usually poor and alone) person standing there talking to themselves? They too seem to have no soul connected to reality, but don't stop standing there talking into the thin air (only to be heard by people walking by in a free society). That poor/alone/mentally unstable person is YOU, and the internet is your street corner... Get a life.

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