14 posts from January 2011
This Week in Internet: GIFs, Salad, Men in Sweaters
Jan 07, 2011
GIF of the week: This Is Internet.
Speaking of GIFs, here are The Best Animated Sports GIFs of 2010. (thx, MB)
Apparently the University of Maryland has a competitive eating team. I think Kelly and I were accidentally training for it that semester when we would only eat at the buffet dining hall because it had karaoke.
Women laughing alone with salad is almost as funny as salad itself apparently is.
Does "U.S. Patent-Themed Embroidery" sound like it would be excellent? Because it is.
Ummmm, where does one get a subscription to this fine publication?
Alex Ovechkin and Semyon Varlamov's new ESPN ad is great.
Interesting: The Art of the Very Long Sentence
Virginia DMV Revokes World's Greatest License Plate. Ohhhh, Virginia.
And here are all the cute/funny animal links together so you can easily ignore them if you are Nancy O'Dead Inside:
- Dog steals sled
- Injured turtle + wheels = cayooooot
- Pug vs. volleyball has a great ending
- Overly concerned kitty
- Grizzly bear and a bucket. More, plz.
- Kitten sees herself in the mirror for the first time
- FYI: Hairless guinea pic = tiny hippo.
- . . . And here's a cow that looks like a panda. Causewhynot.
Enjoy the weekend like you're a '90s kid trapped in an eternal repeating cycle of one awesome dance move.
It Should Go Without Saying That I Have No Soul, Either
Jan 06, 2011
So Nancy O'Dell is a person, one of the ones on E! or something, and she hosts one of those shows, like Now That's What I Call Celebrities Doing Shit or whatever. (I don't really have the time to look it up right now, because I have a Cat vs. Washing Machine video waiting in my next tab that I am d-d-d-dying to get to.) Anyway, the point is, this woman is not particularly famous and I do not particularly care about her, but I did come across this picture of her today in a People's Choice Red Carpet gallery:
And it made me realize: in all my years of casually, occasionally seeing photos of this woman (deep in the parts of red carpet slideshows where the most marginally relevant people are kept), I have never seen a photo in which she looked even sliiightly alive inside. Like, this woman has the deadest. expression. ever.
(Sidenote: this reminds me of college, when Kelly and I would use the insult "dead inside" so much that we abbreviated it to "D.I.," then "die," then "die-die," and so on. We were impossible to be in a room with.)
So anyway, that's when I decided to play a game. The game is called Let's Scroll Through Google Image Results for Nancy O'Dell Until We See One Where She Looks Like She Has a Soul. Care to play along?
TOTAL NUMBER OF SOULS DETECTED: 0
TOTAL NUMBER OF SOULS DETECTED: 0
TOTAL NUMBER OF SOULS DETECTED: 0
TOTAL NUMBER OF SOULS DETECTED: 0
TOTAL NUMBER OF SOULS DETECTED: 1, BUT IT'S THE BABY'S
. . . . And so on. This went on for several rows of scrolling. And then--what did I see? Jewel!
Jewel is ALL UP in the search results for Nancy O'Dell; she appears multiple times, like the infiltrated the page. Moral of the story? Jewel: still obsessed with saving souls, even after all these years.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to.
The Seven Least Interesting People Articles of the Past Few Days
Jan 04, 2011
I kind of love reading entertainment/celebrity gossip headlines around major holidays, because that is when they are at their extreme dullest. Well, to be fair, I also like reading them all the other days of the year--I just get a certain other kind of enjoyment out of reading the headlines that come up on the slowest of news days. Here is a countdown of the most ridiculous ones from the past week:
7. The Bachelor: Inside Brad Womack's Stylish Texas Loft
You know that guy on that show you don't watch? You'll never guess where he buys his sheets!
6. "Lindsay Lohan Ready to Start the 'Rest of My Life'"
What a coincidence--I, too, have decided to proceed with my life in a chronological fashion. Trying to start the part of my life that is already over just got really annoying after a while.
5. Kellan Lutz's Slick New Hairstyle
Alternate title: "A Guy from Twilight Put Gel in His Hair"
4. New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys Reveal Their New Year's Resolutions
One of them wants to read more. I hope he starts with People.com.
I just really liked how this headline was written. I kind of expected the story to continue with, "She has been for a few years. But we're talking about it right now because the guy from Twilight washed the gel out of hair, so that story has kind of run its course, and . . . um . . . words!"
2. Valerie Bertinelli Has Star-Studded Wedding
We swear. It was positively studded by stars. Pretty much everyone who didn't get invited to Shania Twain's wedding was there.
1. Newly Single John Mellencamp has Low-Key New Year's Eve
This scorcher was the No. 1 story on the site for at least half of New Year's Day, making it a little harder for us to keep complaining that the mainstream media doesn't tell us enough about the approximate intensity levels of John Mellencamp's holiday celebrations.