LMNOP

Last night's Golden Globes were one of my favorite awards shows in a while. The hosting was good, the speeches were largely non-boring, and there enough odd/wacky moments peppered throughout to keep it interesting. (Here is a decent top 7 on said moments.)

I've split my fashion recap into two categories: the good and the bad.* We'll start with the bad and work our way up.

THE BAD

JENNIFER LOPEZ

It says a lot about J-Lo that this is basically predictable attire for her. That being said, it doesn't quite rate as boring because it is a full-length nude bodystocking doily thing made of that super unsexy figure skater illusion material. Anyway, the prevailing commentary here was "Jennifer is basically naked," but I raise you two points: 1) she probably would have looked better naked; and 2) she certainly would have been able to move better. Watching celebs mince around uncomfortably is enough to kill even the best look, so it so it certainly doesn't do any favors for a bad one.

RACHEL WEISZ

Tip: if you're on James Bond's arm then the bottom of your dress shouldn't remind me of a beekeeper. I mean, hell, if you're on anyone's arm (except a guy in a bee costume), then this rule applies. Also, polka dots always look twee/informal to me and bows frequently do, so overall this was Budget Marion Cotillard at best and Rachel needn't settle for that.

LENA DUNHAM

I like Lena and do not count myself among the Girls haters; however, heavy folds of fabric in a blah color--not my fave. Sadly, Lena also had a bad case of I-Can't-Move-In-This-Itis. During her two excruciating trips to the stage I watched this dress pull her down like it was quicksand as she hobbled forth on what appears to have been a very nonfunctional shoe choice. The entire telecast seemed to come to a screeching halt as the world prepared itself for a faceplant.

TAYLOR SWIFT

Boring dress that looks like off-the-rack prom attire paired with ultra-severe hair and makeup: not the most approachable look I've seen on Tay Swift. I don't want to hate on this young lady, but . . . ohhhhh. I guess I do.

KALEY CUOCO

All my criticisms of this outfit shall be rescinded if, in three months' time, it is revealed that the verymethod Ms. Cuoco was just selected for the titular role(s) in an Olsen twin biopic.

Adele had one of the best speeches of the night--quick, funny, unpretentious--but her award show wardrobe is just one heavy, black dress after another. For someone who seems to have a much lighter side than her earlier work would have us expect, her wardrobe is consistenly bleak. Let's see some color and maybe even some skin at some point, plz?

JESSICA CHASTAIN

She seems great, and I love her hair and makeup, but this dress was perhaps the most awkwardly-fitting choice of the night.

SIENA MILLER

Soooooo. Siena here just played Tippi Hendren in The Girl and I suppose this is a nod to '60s style, but here's a thought: if that's what you're going for, why not do one of the five million more glamorous '60s looks available than 'fat lady housedress?'

More of the bad . . .

• Eva Longoria: overwrought; also, choose either the slit or the cleavage, not both (Em pointed this one out and I agree)
• Halle Berry: just a casual "what the hell" and let's move on
• Emily Mortimer: baked potato, chainmail, Tin Man, etc.
• Alyssa Milano: more like Mila-NOooooooooo, amirite? high five

Next up: The Good

*Confession: Originally I was going to do a third category, The Boring, but (shockingly!) I got bored.