47 entries categorized "Special Events!"

Introducing Kelly and Lauren's Not-At-All-Fake Five-Day Trip Around the World

So here's the situation: my roommate Elle is in Puerto Rico this week, and my friend Carolyn will be joining her in a couple of days.  Also, my friend Emily just got back from a blissful stay in Mexico, and my BFF Kelly and I are feeling pretty jealous of them all--that is, we were feeling jealous, until we had the great idea to go on a five-day trip around the world!  Sayonara, suckers!

Every day this week I will be filing a dispatch from a new and fabulous place, because vacations are no fun if you can't brag about them! We'll call this feature:


Without further ado, here's today's dispatch, live from the SERENGETI NATIONAL PARK IN TANZANIA!

Day 1. Serengeti National Park, Tanzania

Boy, are we having fun at the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania!  It is amazing to be in a continent where so many great celebrities get their babies.

It turns out, however, that there is much more to Africa than baby orphans!  There are also lions, leopards, elephants, rhinos, buffalo, cheetahs, gazelles, giraffes, and birds.  I had seen some of these animals in zoos before, but it's amazing how different they are out in the wild.  I mean, they look the same and everything, but they don't know as many tricks.  I think that's a shame, actually.  Safaris are pretty much like big zoos without any organization.  These poor animals out in the wild don't know how to do anything cool, and they don't have any helpful fences around them to show them what area is theirs.  They must get so confused sometimes! 

Hopefully someday one of the more environmentally-conscious celebrities (Leonardo DiCaprio, I'm talking to you!) will start raising awareness about this problem and we can send some animal trainers over here to help these animals out.  It just isn't the same watching an elephant who won't raise up his front leg to win a peanut!

Our tour guide even pointed out a group of lions that were watching some gazelles drink water.  She said the lions were keeping an eye on them so they could kill them and eat them later.  Say what?!?!  That's so barbaric!  Once Leonardo DiCaprio goes over there and puts all the animals in cages, though, I think that will solve the problem.  We'll make sure they get supplied with lots of yummy fruit peels and hay and whatnot!

Here's a picture of us in our safari gear:


Boy, is the weather ever great in Tanzania!  It was 75 degrees today.  El Nino and Al Gore be damned--that's a full 10 degrees warmer than it was in Washington DC today!  Hope all you suckers back home didn't get frostbite!

Tomorrow we're going to another exciting place with lots of culture and history.  Stay tuned!

Michelle Presents: "Stop Being a Craigslist Douchebag"

When Michelle stopped blogging, I issued her an open invitation to come guest blog whenever she wanted to.  Guess what?  She has!  (If only PT Cruisers and senators would start taking my advice too, this world would be a much better place.)  And what did it take to temporarily bring her out of retirement? 

Craigslist Douchebags.  Enjoy!

Memo: Stop Being a Craigslist Douchebag
By Michelle

I am trying to find a place to live, and it is killing me slowly. It is a death not unlike the tobacco horn worm caterpillar experiences when wasp larvae eats the caterpillar from the inside out. Why do I feel like I'm being eaten alive? Because craigslist is giving me the dirty sanchez treatment. Please forgive my use of colorful language but it is the only way I can really let you know how truly and deeply craigslist sucks. In my quest I have emailed probably about 100 people, and actually met about 30 people from almost 15 houses, and, with exceedingly few exceptions, almost all of them sucked.

I can look beyond the inadequate descriptions that use the word awesome in just about every other sentence as if that really let someone know what a house looked like. I can also look past the inability of 90% of posters to correctly provide a link that accurately indicates the location of their house. Once I clicked on a link that had apparently used the address "silver spring washington dc usa" to let people know where the house was.  I can even look past the blatantly discriminatory postings that indicate they will not consider a person based on their gender or age (some people won't overlook that though because apparently it's like illegal or something...) And after I get past the initial sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I don't really mind coming across the creepy sex-for-housing ads from northern virginia. But there are some craigslist transgressions I cannot abide. Someone needs to tell the craigslist users of washington dc how not to be a douche bag, and I feel that the following suggestions are a good start:

Continue reading "Michelle Presents: "Stop Being a Craigslist Douchebag"" »

The Results of the LMNOP Invitational

Results_1 Aaaaaand the first LMNOP Invitational Tournament has come to a close. The bracket contest went largely without coverage in the blog, and for good reason--namely, because I wasn't doing very well and therefore lost interest in it.  However, I feel like I should at least post the final results and congratulate the winner, Emily Guskin.

Way to go, Emily!

I don't want the guys who participated in this pool to feel bad about losing to a girl, so I will post this picture of Emily (on the right) with Dick Vitale, because it makes her seem relatively sporty.  The truth, though, is that she is small, blonde, and likes to wear things like baby blue trench coats and pale pink pumps. (Not at the same time.)


By the way, we're totally giving Cathy hell over here about coming in last.

Final March Post

Oh. My. God.  March is FINALLY over.  I am going into hiding until Sunday night after Grey's Anatomy, at which point I will put up the new April site design and resume normal posting.  However, the three new posts from Michelle, Adam, and Jonah are plenty of reading material to keep you busy until then.  Also, for my final March post, I have decided to recognize National Noodle Month.  You can read that as well.

Continue reading "Final March Post" »

Schedule for March 31st

Today is a big day, because it's the LAST DAY IN MARCH.  As it is the official finale of our March extravaganza, this evening you will be treated to the fabulous conclusion of both Michelle's and Adam's series, as well as some other bonus items.

But the guest of honor for this special day is none other than our own Cathy Addison-Weemer, because it's her BIRTHDAY TODAY!  I hope you will all take a moment to send her your best wishes.  I sent her this e-card

Well, I'll be off celebrating the birthday until about 8:30 or 9 tonight.  See you then!

My Personal Favorite in the Series

The fourth post in Michelle's feature:

The Arts and Creative Materials Institute (a "non profit" industry group) created Youth Art Month in 1961. I'm pretty certain that this group had nefarious and profit-driven reasons for creating a month likely to get kids hooked on paste and glitter, yet YAM (as Youth Art Month is called by art teachers) has managed to transcend its dark roots to be more than just another manufactured and meaningless greeting card holiday like birthdays or Christmas. YAM is intended to educate people about the importance of quality art education in schools. If you believe everything that ACMI tells you, then you'd think that an art education teaches children self-expression and creative problem solving while simultaneously providing children with a valuable source of self-esteem. But then you'd be both the puppet of ruthless craft and hobbies wholesalers, AND wrong. An art education imparts an even more important life lesson: you can't be good at everything. In fact you're probably going to suck really bad at something, but as long you're trying that's what counts (though what it counts towards remains to be seen).

Racist_kid_map Think about it -- children are pretty much physically and psychologically incapable of drawing (trust me I'm a child scientician). Their art is pathetically endearing at best and atrociously offensive at worst (at left, see one child's vision of the world map in which every continent is colored according to the people that come from that land). And yet kids continue to draw, paint, scribble and sculpt and they even enjoy it because they are encouraged to keep trying.That is the true gift of art education -- it teaches children that it's okay to be bad at something but to let that mediocrity slide because at least you're trying your best. If there is one thing that the children of America should be taught in schools, it is how to read. And if there are two things they should be taught, it should be how to read and how to do basic math. But, if there are three things that the children of America should be taught, well, that's when art sneaks into the curriculum.

To celebrate this month, I've written a few limericks and haikus to
accompany a few pictures I found online. If you don't like the poems, then I think you should blame my art education for not giving me the creativity needed to complete this task. Or also for possibly encouraging me to settle for "just okay."


There once was a man with no shoulders
They'd probably been crushed by some boulders.
He rode a long-necked horse
(Standing on its back of course).
This kid should draw better when she's older.


One girl has no nose--
The other a bow and socks.
What an injust world.


Huge Head was a brown bear.
And all the zoo-goers would stare
At his creepy green eyes,
Small body size,
And pet turtle that floated in air.


Grass is a green line,
A triangle is the sun.
Dog is patriot.

Young Voters Month/List Poem

Part III in Michelle's series spotlights Young Voters Month and the "List Poem" form:

In honor of Young Voters Month, I decided that as a young voter, I would do my duty and vote. After all, this year is the 35th anniversary of the 26th amendment -- the one that let the motivated youth of America vote in national and local elections.  Then I realized that it's March and there's no election in my state -- or in most states for that matter. Then I further realized that the only election this year is that dumb one where you don't get to choose the president. So I said sucks to that crap, and instead I voted for American Idol. I was ashamed to do it, but it was part of my civic duty.
That, in a nutshell, is what I believe to be the voting experience most young voters will enjoy during this fine celebratory month. The polls did see an uptick in the number of young voters in the last election, but that was November 2004 and this is March 2006. There's no votin' to be had at this time of the year, so what are you supposed to do for this month?  Sure, you could register to vote (thereby making many of the deadlines to register that pass in March) but that's boring, and more a celebration of bureacracy than democracy. And oh, the papercuts! And even during a presidential election year, when March is abuzz with primaries, it's hardly exciting since it's very likely that each party's candidate has already been chosen so there's no point in voting. So to recap: don't vote in March (because you can't and there's no point), but do vote for Kellie Pickler (because you can vote multiple times from the privacy of your own home, and American Idol is far less predictable than politics).


I have saved a specific style of poetry for this celebration: a list poem. I feel that this half-assed form of poetry (where in you simply list a series of things or ideas) is the perfect way to honor this half-assed month that tries -- but only a little bit -- to shake apathetic youth from their political slumber.
Stupid reasons a young voter may give for not voting:
  • "The elderly ladies who serve as polling judges creep me out."
  • "I was protesting P. Diddy's vote or die campaign by both not voting and not dying."
  • "A Laguna Beach marathon kept me from being able to leave the couch let alone the house."
  • "My favorite wrestler didn't endorse any one candidate leaving me unable to choose."
  • "I detest interactions that end in the exchange of fliers and/or bumper stickers."
  • "As a staunch opponent of illegal immigration, I refuse to do anything that will result in me receiving a multilingual sticker. This is America and in America we speak English (and don't vote)!"
  • "I was going to go get drunk and vote and then decided to leave it at just getting drunk."
  • "It was raining."
  • "The dilemma of the ladies on the Starting Over house was too enthralling and I couldn't bare to leave them."
  • "I was walking multiple dogs -- no really that's my job"
  • "A lack of true choice between the two parties leaves me disillusioned and unwilling to vote.... but really I just don't care."